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CellarOwl
03-05-2010, 01:41 PM
I am no astronomer.

Happiness does not exist here
in the darkest hours of Night's sky,
and this expanse of crumbling stars,
fading,
tells nothing.

Colder, brighter stars preside over Hell
in all their banished fury,
the land as their only dominion.
I hope you enjoy the view,
along the way.

Barbarella
03-05-2010, 02:41 PM
Very good piece. You never ramble on in a meaningless way which makes whatever you post in this section a joy to read.

I like the way you think pardner <3

Have you ever tried to get anything published? You should.

CellarOwl
03-06-2010, 06:58 AM
I've never really thought about publishing anything. It seems like a lot of hoops to jump through or needing the right connections, whatever those are.

Anyway, you are entirely too sweet. Thank you.

S.Hal0mega.B
03-06-2010, 08:27 AM
i agree with Barbarella try searching for local poetry magazines, I get posted in them here and there. You work is very to the point, in a good way, which is hard to achieve for me. Perhaps it's because i like riddles and metaphors. But keep it up :)

CellarOwl
03-06-2010, 12:34 PM
Thanks for the suggestion and the words.

S.Hal0mega.B
03-06-2010, 11:02 PM
question though, how did you write this? - as in - did it come out really quickly like a ramble, or was it looked over and edited slowly as you wrote it slowly? Reason why i ask is I'm thinking that if it came out fast, next time you get the urge to write something, just keep writing and writing, even you drink some merlot or something to drown that critical voice that tells you 'this doesn't do it' over and over. It's only suggested because I write like that and my lyrics/poems that please me the most are done really quickly, without the editing. Then an idea is give your work a second gander and edit here and there if you wish to your liking.

If you went about it slowly you're one of those rare poets who can write like this, which is brillitant - hence it's rarity. But try the above suggestion anyway. Because the only thing that dissapoints me is how it ends - quickly - XD it's still a very eye-catching work, i guess good poems are one of my drugs and i dont like it when they end. :)

Let me know if what I wrote was understanderble, haven't slept in 16 or more hours and im starting to get a little non-sensical. Especially in my spelling.

Funndeath
03-07-2010, 03:00 AM
Very good piece. You never ramble on in a meaningless way which makes whatever you post in this section a joy to read.

I like the way you think pardner <3

Have you ever tried to get anything published? You should.

Yes, I appreciate that you're able to get your ideas across so articulately and in a concise form, god knows I'll never be able to. It makes the impact of your poems stronger. And I third that suggestion. I can understand why you wouldn't want to, but your work certainly deserves to be in print. :)

CellarOwl
03-09-2010, 07:40 AM
Thanks Miss Funn. Very amiable of you and always appreciated. <3.

question though, how did you write this? - as in - did it come out really quickly like a ramble, or was it looked over and edited slowly as you wrote it slowly? Reason why i ask is I'm thinking that if it came out fast, next time you get the urge to write something, just keep writing and writing, even you drink some merlot or something to drown that critical voice that tells you 'this doesn't do it' over and over. It's only suggested because I write like that and my lyrics/poems that please me the most are done really quickly, without the editing. Then an idea is give your work a second gander and edit here and there if you wish to your liking.

If you went about it slowly you're one of those rare poets who can write like this, which is brillitant - hence it's rarity. But try the above suggestion anyway. Because the only thing that dissapoints me is how it ends - quickly - XD it's still a very eye-catching work, i guess good poems are one of my drugs and i dont like it when they end. :)

Let me know if what I wrote was understanderble, haven't slept in 16 or more hours and im starting to get a little non-sensical. Especially in my spelling.
I wrote it in two minutes at work and posted it on here without a second thought or edit. I wouldn't call it rambling though because it was hardly that, I knew what I wanted to say thematically and metaphorically. Anyway, the whole point was for it to end quickly. If I forced my words anymore than necessary it wouldn't be honest,and it wouldn't do justice to the subject. Besides, some things don't deserve to be written about for more than a sentence or two. They don't deserve that much credit or agony; and brevity is the soul of wit, isn't it?

S.Hal0mega.B
03-09-2010, 08:31 AM
Thanks Miss Funn. Very amiable of you and always appreciated. <3.

I wrote it in two minutes at work and posted it on here without a second thought or edit. I wouldn't call it rambling though because it was hardly that, I knew what I wanted to say thematically and metaphorically. Anyway, the whole point was for it to end quickly. If I forced my words anymore than necessary it wouldn't be honest,and it wouldn't do justice to the subject. Besides, some things don't deserve to be written about for more than a sentence or two. They don't deserve that much credit or agony; and brevity is the soul of wit, isn't it?

Ok, to clarify i meant ramble in a good way... sometimes poets and lyricists alike may have just like you mentioned - an idea or point in mind - and the quick 'rambling' of words from pen to paper end up reaching that, it usually works for most that ive read the biographies of, and myself. So I meant it in a positive way. But yes I agree, I think its charm rests in how short it is amongst other things... my comment on it ending too quickly was more or less me wanting more from you :)