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View Full Version : Pick Up Line thread - aka The Ammo Dump.



The Empirical Guy
03-22-2011, 04:17 AM
Yes, restock your supply here.

I wanna hear the worst, funniest, most pathetic or just downright weird pick up lines you have ever heard or, in fact, used. I'm gonna get the ball rolling with something that could be hard to top. Now, I know a guy who once got propositioned by a woman who asked if he would like to "smash" her, but my award for the most hilarious line goes to this story.

I was working doing sound in a local pub, and was packing up after a show. The band was hanging around chatting to people, and there was this young girl there, I don't even know if she was legal, but she was in full groupie mode and had it bad for the guys in the band. They asked her if she wanted to come back to their motel room. Her response?

"I'm on the rag right now, but you can cut sick in my shitter any time."

For real.

WOW.

Brings a smile to my face.

Share your stories!

Golden Eel
03-22-2011, 04:42 AM
Cut sick? Is that some Ozzie slang?

"Do you work at Subway, because you just gave me a footlong."

Shangri-LIE
03-22-2011, 05:45 AM
"Was your daddy a meat thief? Because someone took two fine ass ham's and shoved them down the back of your dress."

ShelfLife
03-22-2011, 12:55 PM
Cut sick? Is that some Ozzie slang?

Sort of - Aussie-westie-wog-slang, more like. You know, like, "Fully sick, mate!"

Empirical, my question is, did it work?

303
03-22-2011, 05:40 PM
Are you wearing space pants? cause your ass is outta this world

Is your name Gillette? cause you're the best a man can get

I can't speak French. But im good in bed.

are we related? do you want to be?

I am a magical being, take off your bra.

I've tried two of those lines. Feel free to guess which ones and wether they worked..

Shangri-LIE
03-22-2011, 06:39 PM
^ahah

Here are some of my own concocted serenations.

Let me cum in your mouth THREE times and I will give you ONE CIGARETTE. ONE CIGARETTE THAT'S IT! Ok fine let's do this.

Star Wars was out of this world. Literally it was out of this world. Like your tits. They orbit around my mind like two sister planets that I'd like to fuck at the same time!

I'm not gay. Nope. Cause you're a girl, and I'm a guy, and I am going to BONE you. HARD!

Let's make like leaves and fuck.

I've just drugged you. You're gonna get laid!

Who wants to give me AIDS TONIGHT?!?!?

ImNotJesus
03-22-2011, 07:54 PM
Me: "Wanna play rape?"

Girl: "No!"

Me: "That's the spirit!"

Dronepool
03-22-2011, 10:02 PM
I don't know any that I haven't already heard on old sitcoms and I forgot most of them anyway. I've never used one anyway so it doesn't matter.

ThreeEyedGod
03-22-2011, 10:41 PM
Me: "Wanna play rape?"

Girl: "No!"

Me: "That's the spirit!"

Winning.

The Empirical Guy
03-23-2011, 02:12 AM
Sort of - Aussie-westie-wog-slang, more like. You know, like, "Fully sick, mate!"

Empirical, my question is, did it work?

It worked in that it earned her my undying appreciation for the humour she delivered. As to what went on between her and the band afterwards, I can only guess, but I like to think they fulfilled their rock star duties.



Star Wars was out of this world. Literally it was out of this world. Like your tits. They orbit around my mind like two sister planets that I'd like to fuck at the same time!



Wow. Can I please borrow this.


Me: "Wanna play rape?"

Girl: "No!"

Me: "That's the spirit!"

Excellent!

KnaveMurdok
03-23-2011, 04:08 AM
Baby, i'm like math homework! I'm long, and hard, and you can do me on your desk.

Golden Eel
03-23-2011, 04:31 AM
"Have you seen my magic watch?"

"Um no."

"Well it says you're naked."

"Uh...clearly I'm not."

"Shit, it must be an hour fast."

The Empirical Guy
03-24-2011, 01:17 AM
Baby, i'm like math homework! I'm long, and hard, and you can do me on your desk.

That's a good one, but I got as far as "I'm like math homework!" and filled the rest in as "Schoolgirls don't want to do me, but they have to eventually."

KnaveMurdok
03-24-2011, 02:17 PM
That one's good too ^^

Shangri-LIE
03-24-2011, 02:27 PM
Yes, Empirical Guy, you can use that. Though I don't know how effective it will be. lol :)

Here's a few more...

I'm dying. I need a pain reliever in the shape of your vagina.

I'm so sorry I have to do this.....

"Hey, what's over there?!?" - proceed to rape

The Empirical Guy
03-24-2011, 06:36 PM
I'm so sorry I have to do this.....


http://www.plixer.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/laugh2.jpg

Ich_Bin_Du
03-25-2011, 04:29 AM
"Hey girl, I forgot my telephone number, can you give me yours?" ... Heh.

KnaveMurdok
04-01-2011, 03:22 AM
I like my women like I like my Little Mermaids.
To have legs, and be quiet.