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View Full Version : Pat Robertson: God Let Exotic Ohio Animals Escape to Bite Gay People



spaceSuicide
10-24-2011, 06:55 AM
Old news but still noteworthy to say of this aging, attention starved, delusional moron.

Time and time again he proves himself to be an ass, a hurtful shit talker and an oblivious idiot to others feelings. But he's Christian so it's ok to say these things. So it's ok that God allowed the Haiti earthquake to happen due to past religious beliefs of Haitian people, God stopped us from leaving houses last year due to the blizzard so we couldn't go out and do gay things, etc. Nonsense. I hate this idiot and his television show. I watch it often to scoff and laugh at the idiocy involved with their airings. I don't normally get fueled up by religious or homosexual related stuff in news but this just angers me for some reason.


ZANESVILLE, OH (The Borowitz Report) – As dozens of escaped exotic animals terrorized the town of Zanesville, Ohio, the Rev. Pat Robertson raised eyebrows today by saying that “God allowed those wild animals to escape because he wanted them to find gay people and bite them.”

Rev. Robertson, who made his remark during a regular broadcast of his 700 Club television program, said that the Book of Revelation made explicit reference to “escaped lions, tigers and bears running around Ohio biting gay people” as a prelude to the Rapture.

The televangelist also contradicted local officials who had warned Zanesville residents to remain indoors until the all the animals had been accounted for: “Really, those animals won’t bite you unless you’re gay.”

The escaped wild animals immediately became a hot-button issue in the race for the Republican presidential nomination.

At a campaign stop in South Carolina, Texas Gov. Rick Perry said, “If the authorities are putting innocent creatures to death, I’m for it.”

And in Iowa, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn) told reporters, “We should ship those animals back either to the Congo or to Africa.”

http://www.borowitzreport.com/2011/10/19/pat-robertson-god-let-zoo-animals-escape-to-bite-gay-people/

Emma
10-24-2011, 07:42 AM
Which of course ignores the fact that a) the guy killed himself and let his animals go which is hardly divine hand involved as suicide is Godless b) Pat would attribute any "disaster" to God trying to smite gay people c) Pat seems to be blaspheming a lot by assuming to know what God wants and D) If we are all God's creations as 'Christians' like Pat would lead us to believe then Pat is again blaspheming because why would God want to kill his own creation?

Oh and on a final night - Sky Fairies do what now!

What a fucking prick!

thedarkhorse
10-24-2011, 09:40 AM
The things he says are so strange I think sometimes he is just trying to wind people up.

spaceSuicide
10-24-2011, 09:50 AM
The things he says are so strange I think sometimes he is just trying to wind people up.

That'd make sense but this dipshit genuinely believes it.

CellarOwl
10-24-2011, 10:52 AM
I feel kinda awkward being the one to come right out and say this, but the article was satire, you guys.

Emma
10-24-2011, 12:32 PM
^ Damn you're right, it's Andy Borowitz - didn't look at the link, just read the article posted here. Although it's not far off what Robertson has said in the past, so you can kinda see why it was easy to believe it was his words.

spaceSuicide
10-24-2011, 01:44 PM
^ Damn you're right, it's Andy Borowitz - didn't look at the link, just read the article posted here. Although it's not far off what Robertson has said in the past, so you can kinda see why it was easy to believe it was his words.

I didn't know, he's made so many stupid accusations of and about gay people in the past this wouldn't have been hard to not believe.

MixMastahTee
10-24-2011, 05:29 PM
Regarding what Emma and Nick just said, it's called Poe's Law.

Poe's Law states it's basically impossible to distinguish fundamentalists and people making fun of fundamentalists.

ThreeEyedGod
10-24-2011, 10:58 PM
trolled