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View Full Version : Hazekiah beat the shit out of Calculations at the Des Moines show! [PICS INSIDE!]



Calculations
05-09-2012, 10:11 PM
Or not really.

but it was close.

So I just made this big, sexy thread for this, and then it got deleted, so here I am. I'm going to make this quick and dirty.

My friend Matt drove my grifriend and I out to Des Moines, IA, to see MM. It was my third show of his, my girlfriends second and Matts first. He's more of a classical guitar type, so it wasn't the biggest thrill in the world.

We met up with Hazekiah outside the venue, and he and I talked for several hours, where he whispered to me dark secrets from places beyond the human mind. Also, he told me about the tragic deaths of two former MUSA members EatYourGod and Barbarella, and god damn it, that hurt. I'm going to miss you, barbs.

I'll be honest, MM hasn't really interested me for a long while. Basically, once MUSA went down, I went down with it. I hardly listened to him anymore, I began to focus more on Death/Black metal. MM's past two releases didn't do anything for me, they seemed rather whiny, slow and boring. I asked Haz to prove to me that there was just as much symbolism and diabolically clever wordplay hidden away in them as the previous releases and, holy balls did that guy enlighten me. I see MM in a new light. He truly is one of the most outstanding artists of our generation. I can't think of another artist that puts as much effort into his work as he does. It's phenomenal.

Also, Teena Byrd, who I'm sure you're all friends with, hitch hiked there. She arrived in very little clothing, and danced alone in front of the venue. She flashed her ass to a bunch of underage kids. Also, she gave a letter to one of MM's roadies, and he passed it on to him. He read it on stage and threw it to the crowd. I caught a page.

http://i.imgur.com/5HwVvh.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/mei7th.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/0S5Mlh.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/kgpyKh.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/jFoBL.jpg
This is me and Haz's bloody crotch.

http://i.imgur.com/eAuH6.jpg
This is haz, me and my girlfriend.

http://i.imgur.com/7WnEj.jpg
this is my girlfriend laughing about my penis.

http://i.imgur.com/vV0Gn.jpg
this is my girlfriend realizing that she's stuck with me.

http://i.imgur.com/WnNtwh.jpg

This is Matt, Haz, Me, my lady, and feltpupil at the zombie burger place in Des Moines. Go there. It's good as fuck.

Oh wait, I'll bet you're all interested in what was on that page that Manson read on stage. The one teena byrd gave him?

Well, here is page two. MM made fun of her on stage.

http://i.imgur.com/vKeBX.jpg?1

What. The. Fuck.

Yeah, so all in all it was an incredible, eye-opening event and I really hope to post here more often.

And if you remember me from MUSA, find me on facebook. I don't want to miss out on any old friendships!

Thanks.

W/C

FIGHTMF
05-09-2012, 11:04 PM
Cool write up. Nice to see you again dude, I remember you! haha

Peaches
05-09-2012, 11:25 PM
I can't....I can't stop fucking laughing. I saw your post on FB about TeenaByrd and couldn't believe it.
I can't believe she hitchhiked. I Just can't...believe it.

My night=made

Glad you had fun though! I love your pics with Haz and your lady is so pretty pretty....<3

ImNotJesus
05-10-2012, 08:48 AM
Calcs! I remember you buddy, how's it all going? Back on MMUSA I was R3FL3CT1NG_G0D or just The Reflecting God later on I think...

Teenabyrd has some serious issues though, jesus christ...

ThreeEyedGod
05-10-2012, 10:36 AM
Love you Teena bb.!

drop the zero and get with a hero! PM me!

P.S. How are your cancer treatments going? I hope you feel better soon!

xoxoxo

AssetReign
05-10-2012, 10:39 AM
"drop the zero..." = funny
joking about cancer = not so much

Mugwump
05-10-2012, 10:59 AM
Who's joking? Teena legit has cancer.

:-/

FeedYourHead
05-10-2012, 11:02 AM
Who's joking? Teena legit has cancer.

:-/

What?!?!

AssetReign
05-10-2012, 11:09 AM
Who's joking? Teena legit has cancer.

:-/

I don't know where you heard that, but you might want to double check your source.

ThreeEyedGod
05-10-2012, 11:17 AM
Who's joking? Teena legit has cancer.

:-/

It is true, but she is well on her way to beating it! She is a very strong girl!

AssetReign
05-10-2012, 11:32 AM
It is true, but she is well on her way to beating it! She is a very strong girl!

I know someone who knows her personally and this is news to us.

Mugwump
05-10-2012, 11:50 AM
I know someone who knows her personally and this is news to us.

I'm sorry you had to find out this way. Your good friend Teena Byrd is a tough and beautiful creature.

AssetReign
05-10-2012, 11:52 AM
I'm sorry you had to find out this way. Your good friend Teena Byrd is a tough and beautiful creature.

I made no claim of being good friends. When Teena confirms or denies it, then I'll comment. Until then...

FeedYourHead
05-10-2012, 12:17 PM
I'm not trying to be insensitive or accusative in any way, but I'm confused.
If she's well on her way through therapy, which 99% of the time is chemotherapy, how does she still have all her hair? That definitely was not a wig. And there is no way to not lose your hair during chemo.

AssetReign
05-10-2012, 09:44 PM
I'm not trying to be insensitive or accusative in any way, but I'm confused.
If she's well on her way through therapy, which 99% of the time is chemotherapy, how does she still have all her hair? That definitely was not a wig. And there is no way to not lose your hair during chemo.

The devil is in the details.

Fav
05-11-2012, 12:23 AM
What specifically did Manson say about Teena?

FIGHTMF
05-11-2012, 03:20 AM
Who the fuck is Teena

Atom
05-11-2012, 05:52 AM
Why is this thread not about math?

Holocaust_King
05-11-2012, 06:08 AM
Someday Teena Byrd will be arrested for violenty raping Manson behind a Waffle House.

That will be an interesting day.

AssetReign
05-11-2012, 06:59 AM
Someday Teena Byrd will be arrested for violenty raping Manson behind a Waffle House.

That will be an interesting day.


I hear he's an Ihop man.

iggy
05-11-2012, 08:45 AM
I hear he's an Ihop man.

I know someone who knows him personally and this is news to us.

AssetReign
05-11-2012, 08:46 AM
I know someone who knows him personally and this is news to us.


Ah, that explains the anger.

Mugwump
05-11-2012, 04:46 PM
Does anyone remember what this thread is about?

We suck at communicating. :-/

Sixteen Saltines
05-12-2012, 06:43 AM
I was at that same show in Des Moines on Tuesday, May 8th! LOL! What's funny is that I totally recognize you! I wasn't that far behind you in line actually. SO WEIRD!

I saw the girl you described!!! She was strange for sure. Lucky you, for catching a page of her letter.

I ended up catching a guitar pick that said "Fred" on the back of it! Good show.

EDIT: Just read the letter. Too hilarious.

pentagirl
05-14-2012, 01:50 PM
Lmao my my. Where did this Teena character come from? When I met Manson in Michigan I walked up to my friends and Manson was showing them pictures of Teena on his phone. So strange.

AssetReign
05-14-2012, 01:59 PM
Lmao my my. Where did this Teena character come from? When I met Manson in Michigan I walked up to my friends and Manson was showing them pictures of Teena on his phone. So strange.


Manson talks to her in her head. For sure she'll go down in (Manson) history as the freakiest Manson groupie of all time.

petticoat
05-15-2012, 04:18 PM
Did he really read it onstage? O , O

Hazekiah
05-15-2012, 08:48 PM
He started and tried and called Twiggy over to help but he seemed equally stymied and it was all super hilarious.

I personally saw Calcs snatch it from the air with the fury of an angry vagina shaking its fist at the gods!

While we're posting pix of my bloody clothes anyway, here's how those stitches are coming along!

As you can see, I finally popped one side of the middle of three stitches by completely ripping it through the flesh.

Didn't last long but I didn't bleed out when it opened back up either so whatever, I'm pleased enough with the results:

http://i.imgur.com/NuQEL.jpg