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View Full Version : Those Petty Games We'd Play



crazybitch
10-30-2012, 01:30 PM
(OK this is practice non-fiction writing please review my little insecure piece of writing)

Run my hands across the sky, dream of daggers not to fly. Fall into a storm of rage and than love it for its irony. Secretly, it angered me. Secretly, I hated the pain that I loved you and you couldn't see, the bullet for the brain. As you shoot away the pain, don't you see...you'll do it just to chase away the blame...you don't know what love is, it's not abuse, love is my weapon...it's the only thing I use. But you paint me red anyways, Take away the dagger in my back, take it back or forget I had yours the whole time. It came as a slap in the face, not like he hadn't slapped me before. Steal my knife, breathe away the anger guilt and pain.

I would try to dance over it and tiptoe away from it, but it kept on coming. I tried to ignore him. Tried to cleanse my system of the memory of being friends, I cried because he held a price tag over my neck, that I was worth it to abuse...I didn't want to be in love with him and for every halfassed crush that came, this one actually hurt. I went to bed crying, knowing he forgot through his drunken haze of memories, that I wanted him. He threw everything in my face, I came back from each suicidal attempt, alone...testing me, I just wanted to push back. Pushing back their accusatory words, it reminded me of my mother and father--the way they tore the little girl apart inside every day of her life...until she was free, and looking for refuge found only release in their demonlike portraits of me.

I am the enemy, the one that everyone hated and feared and pretended to understand. The pain, the blame, no friendship no forgiveness for my so called sin. The Capricorn. The scape goat, the raped. Whatever reasons were rallying behind the pain of his crazed language, beguiled me. I made him look that way. I made him out to be some obsessed lunatic living out his fantasies. But I didn't want to. I just wanted him to care about me as I had. He grinned at me, "You naive little child...that you think you know everything about me, you weak insecure little bitch, because you know I'm above you and anyways, without me you wouldn't have any friends you kunt a55 whor3."

I finally defended myself, "You know what I think? You go around crying about your mommy daddy issues but the truth is, you're just a sad little boy with no one to blame for your problems but yourself..." I said, but he kept going until I pushed him...and he didn't even fall down, he continued to stare me down....literally sick of the empty threats and violently worded antagonism, either he hated me or he loved me, he needed to choose. I pushed him again, but he stood there...when he walked away he said, "You're lucky I don't have a gun." This is what happens when you fall in love with confusion. I'm just a sad little girl in a scary messed up world. You made your case, mine was defaced. As the beetles rain from the sky, I remember why God had to crush us all like flies. The games we play when life is free for the burning, if anyone knew what I meant--I just wanted understanding. If it's all a joke than why am I the last one laughing? Fuck this, my life.

Forget this. The end.

crazybitch
10-30-2012, 04:15 PM
It just never ends...fuck the BULLSHIT.

crazybitch
10-30-2012, 04:21 PM
Fantasy


I'll be dead again, nothing me
Made sense today of the pain between my teeth
In my cunt
A remedy
For all the pain you caused in me
I'll be dead again, big nothing
Nothing left to see
Just go away
Go away
Go away
Go away
Go
Just go
You're dead to me.

crazybitch
10-30-2012, 04:22 PM
I made a porno of your candy ass

thatrussianman
10-31-2012, 11:28 AM
your username is appropriate

crazybitch
10-31-2012, 03:11 PM
Thank u!!