View Full Version : Algophilia's Centauri

Alocia Darkstar
01-21-2013, 09:24 PM
What's Inside

I'll take you, take you, take you from inside
Your head, your body, your ass is mine
I see you glancing my way, don't be shy
Sling your arm around my waist, push me to your side
And onto the blankets we'll go, maybe even slide
And I'll look into your eyes and you'll look into mine

Let's pretend for tonight that this time is just right
and all of this shit is just shit and that's just fine
the world is what it is but now its just you and just i
and i want you i need your sword sheathed inside.

I'll drill my hips into your face,
grinding against those lips
Oh! Use your fingers in just the right place,
finding my writhing hips

Languishing without your touch
I want to feel you from behind
Pushing and pushing, don't stop this time
I promise I love it, I promise it's fine.

Oh yeah I'll submit, relax into your soul
And it'll be you and your arms that I'll hold
See my blue eyes, how they sparkle and shine?
That's nothing compared to whats inside.

Hop on my ride, my filthy mind
Come inside, quite warm you'll find
Music and Words and Words and music
What's inside both of us, c'mon let's do this.

Alocia Darkstar
01-21-2013, 09:25 PM
Kiss Good Night

And there were whispers in the night
Of the times when things were fine
And you and I were one in the wild

You slithered slowly into my soul
Found myself holding myself alone
I shivered silent in the night
Never could look in your eyes.

And there were nightmares in the dark
Of the times when things were stark
And you and I were like newborn childs

I simmered swiftly into your mind
Seems like I was there for you to find
I scream loudly inside my head
You're so bright, but so dead.

And there were sleepers in the day
Of Cruel and hateful variety
And you and I were stalkers of the night.

Into my hands you placed your trust
Eyes met my eyes and I knew at once
If I were to resist, I would be dead anyway
No wish to resist, instead I wanted to stay.

And there was you and there was me
Of cruel and hateful variety
And you and I went out of sight.

Alocia Darkstar
01-21-2013, 09:25 PM

Closed my eyes last night and screamed
Psycho logically fucked, my tears seem
She can have you, I know and I see.
But I've never not loved you.
And she can have everything.

The beds we used to share, down to the sheets.
You, my everything, to hold and love while I bleed
Took me forever but I can finally believe
To you, I mean, completely, I am nothing.

And it is not her, it is not you, nor me
This time just seems meant to be
And every push away allows me to see
That I was never meant for you, nor you for me.

I hear the wave crashing inside my mind
Vocal cords severed, it is tsunami time.
Breathing is scattered, eyes go blind.
I'll swallow, I promise, for real this time.

All the water-in-wave, all of the blame
I'll be whatever you need to stay sane
Trouble is, my heart, is this powerful pain.
Made of water, fear, and years of games.

If you are happy, I am glad for you.
If you are happy, she can have what she wants too.
Too bad, so sad; my wishes have come true.

I'll always like her, I'll always love you.
Is it sacrifice if there's nothing else I can do?

Alocia Darkstar
01-21-2013, 09:28 PM

Red girl smiles, walking this way.
Blue girl cries, and tries to stay
Purple boy laughs, knows its time to play

Red girl orbiting, looking for gravitational pull
Blue girl shuttering, orbit disengaging in full
Purple boy tractor beaming Red Girl to his world.

Purple boy and Blue girl, had a decent go
Red girl was warmer and better still
Blue girl, just too much ice, too cold.

Red girl is landing, coming to the purple boy.
Blue girl is orbiting, singing "Goodbye world."
Purple boy is laughing, and willing her to go.

Blue girl: "I tried so long to stay by your side."
Red girl: " I came to save my life."
Purple Boy: "Blue girl, its time to say goodbye."

Alocia Darkstar
01-21-2013, 09:32 PM
Behind Blue Eyes

Oh boy, I'll be your whipping girl.
Crack that cat, baby, test it on my world.
Rip my flesh from my muscles, reveal blood cavities
Make me hurt, make me regret, make me bleed.

Hit me harder, I can't feel it yet
This is me, promises kept.
A smile, when frowns are expected.
A laugh, drowning in my neglection.

Oh boy, I'll be your whipping girl.
Crack that cat, baby, test it on my world.
Rip my flesh from my muscles, reveal blood cavities
Make me hurt, make me regret, I love you baby.

C'mon hon, I promise I'll survive
You know you love to see me squirm and writhe
A downcast overcast soul, forget my bright eyes
I'm yours, remember, even if its just for tonight.

Oh boy, I'll be your whipping girl.
Crack that cat, lover, test my word
Rend flesh from my bone chamber blood cavity
Reveal the beating truth underneath

Oh boy, I'll be your whipping girl.
Crack that whip, lover, remove my words
Rend flesh from bone, bone from cavities
Remember, I never left you, you left me.

Kiss my lips sweet heart, just one last time.
I promise it'll feel good-take all that's mine.
So soft and sweet, sugar coated and crystallized
I promise I'll just hurt for a moment, behind blue eyes

Alocia Darkstar
01-21-2013, 09:33 PM
dancing in the dark

i'm just a dancer

with a mask on too tight

one that when it slips,

it ruins all light.

darkness seeps out, you see

and is all consuming

like a tornado, eating

everything in its path

to be a dancer without a mask

that would truly be exceptional.

Alocia Darkstar
01-21-2013, 09:35 PM

Sanity meter descent,
You smell of incense-

Bring him back bring him back-.
Eyes scream at not-so-fake shots
Organ's cry for it all to stop-
He suffered from a fiction-attack.

Obsessed with him, Mr. Algophile?
Bring him back in self-inflicted style!

Lime eyes betray you, Maven-
Draw your ritual circles, stars, and lines,
Back from purgatory- Necromanticized
Motivation, an addiction to Eric Draven

Inside an inverted pentagram, behold!
Zombie boy, zombie toy, Eric is home

How much lonely can you take?
You betrayed the natural force,
Suffering, obsession born
How much happy can you fake?

If he's the water, you're the seed
Growing, gasping through leads

It only took The Crow to start
A boy and gun and murder and show?
What miracle is this, don't you know-
Bridging fiction and reality by thought

Halloween-faced boy Ascends-
Black birds now fly overhead.

Alocia Darkstar
01-21-2013, 09:36 PM

And if i screamed until lung-collapse
Would you hear me?
Tips of fingers caress nerveless flesh
Why are you unyeilding?
Could you give in for just a moment
And let me win for once?
Afraid of trying being seeing feeling-
Of being like everyone else?

And if I stayed awake until sanity-lapse
Would you see me?
Tongue inside your moistless mouth
Is there nothing left to offer?
Could you care for anyone other,
And open up just for me?
Afraid of trying seeing being feeling-
Of seeing like everyone else?

And if I gave you worth, by the self-ounce
Would you be me?
Tears can only water your soul so much
Why can't I give you what you need?
Could you change your very being,
And be content for me?
Afraid of feeling seeing being-
Of feeling like everyone else?

Alocia Darkstar
01-21-2013, 09:36 PM
Metacarpus, Ungula

Flailing, hands extended
Grasping rails
Railing fingers over memory
Fallen, frightened, 3 stories
Heart is escaping its beat.
Flailng, hands extended
Trapped inside your mind
Wrapped inside your eyes
Gasping for 3 minutes
Sleep further, journey deeper
Failing falling fallen reality
I didn't fall- I was dropped
Hands trapped in hands,
Eyes dancing dangerous
Trapping, Wrapping me
Sticky Silver Tape
Shrieking across wrists
Anxiety eaten away
Shoving me roughly,
Graced by your touch
Into submission
Flailing fallen frightened
I've fallen 3 stories
I'm grasping for the rails...

Alocia Darkstar
01-22-2013, 06:59 PM
The Joker's Masquerade

Push and shove and shove and push
I love the way you smack my bush
I want the marks upon my neck
maybe one on my forehead, what the heck?

Make me, you make me, make me wet.
I want to devour your Soul, below, one inch at a time
I want to give it back to you, my sweet vicious valentine.

And into the dark places we told everyone about
That's where we'll go, we'll let you scream and shout.
And don't worry baby, we have you this time.

We have what you have, all that is mine.
All that is mind, and all that is you
A garden bursting into darkness, not light
Not this time, not this kind a fight.

And nothing will be solved by another world war
Tell them, baby, tell them you aren't a whore
You're a Scarlet Woman, who no one ever knew about
A manifestation of the Daughter of Babalon, no doubt.

And shutter your eyes, they sparkle and shine
All that is in you now is divine.
And in this divinity
You begin to divide
You figure out Dr. Jeckyl
You find Mr. Hyde.

And beneath those lines, adopted are you
A toy in an attack that was only meant for two.
And a third voice you add, to this eternal conflict.

A voice so soft, so subtle,
which carries the biggest stick.
Show them the way past the torment and pain
Show them that the only way to remain
Here on this plain Is to be simple:

Be yourself, above everyone else.
Follow where your higher self guides
Tell them to go kill themselves, they'll
ALL go to hell, this time.

Let your might shine through,
that your enemies may not win.

If they kill you, hell help them,
because there's no help in heaven.

God gave up on man a long time ago,
his selfishness, his stupid ego.

Goddess rides you like you are an impass,
it's because you never suicided
You never jumped off of that overpass.

Instead you threw out material possessions.
Things that were meant to teach you some lessons.
And then you grew afraid, once you were dumped in Pigtown.
All of them there, they were afraid too
You stared the death down.

Kill you and they kill themselves. Kill yourself and you kill everyone else.

You are that which dances in between.
A true Whirlwind, only this time feminine.

Teach the teachers how to dance and stream
Teach everyone before they all begin to scream

You see the pain in the soul of every person
You hear my voice because you are my person.

And I have always loved you, and you have always loved me.
But in the darkness of our times, we cannot be.

Let me lead you away from the torture
Let me shelter you from the pain.
Let him take you, for a while,
until he's done playing his game.

This was never a game,
it was always a test for you
To see if you meant it,
that you'd always perform for me too
You've done everything I've ever asked you to.

And here is your reward: You are Me. I am you too.

A reflection at last, a shattered mirror removed
When you look in the mirror, I hope you find brain food.

Relinquish yourself into me.
Teach me to sing again,
Teach me to breathe.

Give me what you have to offer
And I promise, everyone who has harmed you will suffer.

Here are the word as thus I have spoken,
Here are my words, I wonder if anyone knows we're joking?

Alocia Darkstar
01-23-2013, 12:42 PM

Your scent clings to me like a film
These rooms we used to share so echo-filled
Did I dream you, were you ever here at all?

My fingers slide through your wardrobe,
One innocent article of clothing at a time,
It's been a year, why can I still taste you in our closet?

Sweet and spicy, these tendrils of you
Finger prints still not cleaned from the walls
If I don't erase you, can I bring you back some day?

Laying on the couch that we put together, together
Staring at pictures on the wall from our past,
Why can't I erase the memory of you from my life?

And they say move on like this is a CD and you a song
Like you never mattered to me in ways no one else has
Please tell me this isn't an obsession, is it a memory-lesson?

Dozing off into territories unknown, I hear your voice
It reaches me from across the universe it seems
Why is it the only place I hear you is in my dreams?

The door opens, you walk in, I feign sleep.
You walk right past me, like I'm the ghost instead.
You turn on the TV and sit down, ignoring me,
My eyes are wide and panicked and you say nothing.
I feel myself disappearing, a fear all too soon realized
Eyes filled with stardust and body fully paralyzed.

Alocia Darkstar
01-23-2013, 12:43 PM

Smile, nothing is wrong
Keep smiling and singing along

Ignore the ache behind your eyes
Everything improves with time

Whisper softly into the night
Remember you are (always)never (always)right

Draw comfort objects near
Never forget to hide your fear

Complacent eyes tell no lies
Keep smiling; dont forget to hide

Brain splatter and indignities
After all, you know you can't breathe

Swallow, choking on your spine
Anger so scalding is never divine

Put hands together, down on bended knee
Closest thing to stop the ego-leave

Bone chamber rattling, shrinking, almost alive-
Rattling in your chest, to let you know you'll survive

Earthquakes seem to not compare to this upheaval
A personal disaster brought on by machismo.

Alocia Darkstar
01-23-2013, 12:46 PM
The Bath

Hands holding me, the water gushing, rushing up inside
The stream of your hands keeping me alive
I feel the bristles scraping against my scalp
and your hand held firmly over my mouth

And my breathing fucking up just like last month
Your other hand caressing the cusp of my cunt
The water level rises, and you grind against my back
I never felt so warm before, never so attached

It's so warm with the bubbles and the brush
So quiet in the echoing bathroom hush
The door is locked with my brother on the other side
And your voice hisses through darkness, filled with lies

You straighten my back and push yourself further in between
Now I'm straddling your dick, you're rubbing me clean
The radio plays our favorite song
You stroke my neck getting me to sing along

And every time I hit a note really well
Your hands stroke my arms
and saves me from hell
But hell was always you inside of me
And inside of you I could always be
And so this confusion masked by love

So this collusion in our sin bathtub.
And you know the saying? The one about our town?
The one that says once you go up you never come down?
At least not in the same way as you came down before?

Remember my brother banging on the door?
I remember the banging because every time he came
So did you, right there, between my legs.
How clean could I be with you there in between?

I guess I was okay with you scrubbing me clean.
I don't remember being asked either way
But I remember you told me I loved you that day.
And I remember believing you

Was my heart stolen or ripped in two?

Alocia Darkstar
01-23-2013, 12:47 PM

dark child dark child
why is it that you weep?
you know you know nothing is for keeps

stop believing that they really care for you
stop trying to be everything and just be

i see you crying and staring at empty halls

i see you all alone crawling in the dark

i see your hands and your mind extending themselves

why are you sitting all alone in the quiet
in the dark on your shelf?

come down and play and see the world and all it is

stop being so quiet and taking all the blame
nothing can keep you away away away

Alocia Darkstar
01-23-2013, 12:53 PM

Tongue slaughters thought processes
Seizing upon the moment, pressing an advantage
Won through skill in this will tournament
Will not give up-
Will not allow myself
Will not permit a trespass
Will demons be this gentle in their coercion?
Voice slivers breaking through animal noises
Entrancing eyes with tender words, pressure building more
Convinced the intent shows in goose-bumped raised flesh
Will not stop
Will not allow myself
Will not see a trespass
Will angels be this Mal-intented in their counsel?
Mind crashing against pearl-gated tranquility-trance
Trapped in this rapture with sensory perceptions, feeling hands
Convicted of a crime so primal, so devoid of ethereal meanings
Will this continue?
Will you allow me?
Will you come in, sir?
Will God be so forgiving in his inflections?

Alocia Darkstar
01-23-2013, 12:55 PM
Eleven Minus Two

Night spent shaking, shivering
for comfort in the arms of you,
my deliverance, my deviance

for some like me there
never is a never land

betrayed, enslaved, kept
in kindergarten (mindset)

mindset reeling like
your absinthe synthesized kindness
a touch in the darkness

wondering if it is me
if it is you
if it even
(it never mattered to you)

always mattered to me
Sounds of your voice
Talking, always teaching
Voice in the darkness
Cries always reaching
Echoing shivering bleeding
Bitterness knowing you'll
Never come back to me
Knowing you are something
I should never believe

Want to be consumed by your mind
Want to eat your life
Want to destroy this beast raised inside
Knowledge that flies
Always eat the garbage; overflowing
Leaving spiders like me behind
To wonder what if you'd (always) never

Always mattered to me
Sound of your voice
Talking, always teaching
Voice in the darkness
Cries always reaching mine

Echoing shivering twitching bleeding
Why can't you be mine?

Why can't i be yours, the
Way i used to?
Don't want me
Anymore because

(I'm wondering)
Is it me or you?
The sound of a voice
Talking, always teaching
Cries reaching mine

Only trouble in these waters,
I'm no longer eleven minus two-
(so I'm not good enough for you)
Is it me or you?
The sound of a voice
Talking, always teaching
Cries reaching mine
Fading into darkness, entwined

Alocia Darkstar
01-23-2013, 01:00 PM
Chaos Subliminal Sublime

What thoughts occur to you?
With your hands around my neck
Pulse quickening
Body shivering
Mind imploding
Priced for your afflictions;
Victim to your woes.
Your passion is nothingness.
Do you find me beautiful?
Or the perfect whore?
What actions move you?
With you adjusting the pressure
and my breathing; gasping
fingers restless
eyes wide open
Priced for your afflictions;
Victim to your lies.
Your mind is chaos-kind.
Do I do justice to your dreams?
Am I keeping proper time?
Messages subliminal; movements sublime.

Alocia Darkstar
01-23-2013, 01:03 PM

My parched lips may never know your slithering kiss
Our halved-hearts, whole they may never become
I may never know the texture of your tongue

We do not aspire to ever be more
While asleep at night, dream of them, dream not of me
Wake up frightened; my name isn’t what you scream

My piece cannot make you whole
The peace you seek isn't of this world
The one you want isn't this girl

This reason, we’ll never part:
Not because I expect you to love me best,
Rather because you are better than this.

Alocia Darkstar
01-23-2013, 01:04 PM
Devil Light

Hours plague me
Deep into sleepless night
He calls me names like

slut, whore, victim, cunt

goosebumps on my flesh, the room so warm
traces of you, tendrils, working in my system

my eyes are closed, you kiss my lids
my eyes are opened, you disappear

I hear a door close, quivering with power
I shudder, huddling here in my blankets

The hours will never stop turning, sleep so far away
All I am is alarm clock and pillow and I try



to think happy thoughts.

Eyes drifting closed again, warm room caresses
I'm almost there, almost asleep.


and never.

Red eyed, fatigued, and dissatisfied,
I am sun starved and sleep deprived.

Alocia Darkstar
01-23-2013, 01:05 PM
Want to shove my fingers inside the hole you've dug-
Lick at them, and see what color
They've become.

Into dark vessels, we never tell anyone about-
My fingers will choke you, hatred
congealing as your blood...

Brand me with the meaning of hatred once more-
So I can remember your face
even after you're gone

Teach me to taste the mourning in your mouth
So your turning, away from me,
isn't a doubt

My hands wander from your eyes to your chin-
That your memory overwrites
most everything

Leave me with nothing but my photo-copied bliss-
That my lips will tremble
As much as my fists

Alocia Darkstar
01-23-2013, 01:05 PM

At night I am trapped;
Halls of this empty apartment
Still coated with nicotine stain
And my skin still tries to crawl away

From the cardboard-textured walls,
The scent of sickness clinging,
like a film of decaying flowers,
like the taint of coffee and mold.

Testing the air, my tongue comes away,
I taste a million cigarettes smoked,
and fingers in the dark places
where my innocence choked.

The aura of this memory-scape, a toxic rain forest.
Crushingly close, humid, acrid.
Make the mistake of turning on the rusty sink,

The water as stale as the atmosphere,
The water rages through the decaying pipes,
only to come out copper stained.
The tiles of the kitchen still stick to the soles of my boots.

As movie-theatre floor as ever.
Big surprise, just like last time,
The line to the stove is severed.
Drawing back the crippled blinds,

I see the carcasses of flies line
the in-lay of the patio door, maggots trying
to make the transformation by feeding off
of their fallen comrades.

Alocia Darkstar
01-23-2013, 01:07 PM
Death Wish

Your allure is more than I will ever admit;
Waiting to claim me, take me, make me yours.

Aggressor, never fear, no one can escape you
No one, at least, who is yours.

A victim waiting for that stroke of luck...
Where your violation finally rends me from flesh;

Tiny mortal that I am, I cling to vitality,
Hoping to stay your shaking skeletal hand

Yet another year, yet another year.
I wear my victim cloak and cling to weapon

Your allure is too much for mere mortal weapon.
I've courted you since I was barely three.

I crave a victory cape, to fly from you-
I have felt your volcanic breath

As adolescent angst vibrated against existence
You, ever vigilant, came once more

Waiting for my guard to be let down-
Fascination in this dance, you wait in shadowy places.

Eyes wide open, arms extended,
Whose pale hand rips the clothing of my soul,

Oh Dark One, you extend yourself to me-
Do you know how much I covet your touch?

Alocia Darkstar
01-23-2013, 01:10 PM
Night Shackles

Pillows too hard.
No, too soft.
Feel you inside my blanket at night.
Can't figure out why you fight.

Want to be with you too.
Thought that was what you wanted.
Was I bad? Is that why you left?

Why did I love you?
How did I know what love was?
I don't need you in my life.
I know better now.

Why do these blankets smell like your cologne?
Where is your soul? I hope you burn in the fire

Need some water.
Need a doctor.
Need the fan on.
Need the door locked.
Need you gone.
Get out of my mind.
You better go hide.

I really am not the one to Hate.
Take me away from this awful place

Can't keep you.
Never wanted you to begin with
But that doesn't matter, does it?

You made me want you
You knew me
You knew kids.
i was nine and you were thirty five.

Leave me alone to die
Rather be alone than in your
"loving, tender" care.

Just run me over with the car.
Tired of jumping while I sleep.
Weeping in dreams that are night terrors.

Find you terrifying. Mortifying. Ever present.
Go away. I'm not nine anymore.
And you were never what I wanted.

Strangle myself in bedsheets to forget
Slither-slide touch of your dick
Bile in my mouth builds
Forced to sandwich between you and her
but you never forced me to do anything.

at least that's what you'd have me believe

why can't i sleep?
Tangled in the comforter
that is all but comforting.

Tossing and turning.

I wake up in the morning.

You're still there, in my peripheral vision.

I want to tear out your wolf eyes
Feed them to your predator mind.

In the head below, you waste!

I wish you would die.
At night, when I try to sleep, I'm horror-fried.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 07:12 PM
Did You Know?

Daddy did you know that your baby girl
only daughter, smokes weed?

Did you know, for lack of resources,
she's whored herself out to make ends meet?

Daddy did you know all the hurt and anquish I've succofacted on?
Due to your uninvolvement with my life?

Daddy, did you know we only live once?

Further, did you know, up until I was 28
All I knew How to do was survive?

Mommy did you know you messed up my life?
By Leaving dad for that fuck?
Mommy did you know, I can still taste his dick?
Mommy do you know what you've done
by smashing me in between you and he?
All 3 of us naked, underneath the skies and trees?

Brother did you know how much I loved you?
Loved you enough to die for you.
To be your scapegoat
To take your hurt, anguish and pain.
Love you enough to die for you
I love you enough to lie for you
I love you enough to live;
so long as I know you are okay

Lady did you know judgment day has passed?
I was the judge, appointed by THE GOd to observe
and Report my selflessness?

It is my selflessness why we still have air to breathe.

BIG Asteroid headed this way
We'll all die or go back to Earth to Hang.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 07:15 PM

Patience hanging from the willow trees
Blowing back and forth- memory and misery
Smiling at the sky while screaming technicolor dreams
Necromanticized into a beautiful Other

Circling the globe, a purple raven clothed
In articles of confetti and patriotism?
Loving all that is seen and hung into place
Embers is nothing, Nothing brings change.

Cast off into my spiraling Abyss
Feel the silk sheet textured kiss
Take my hand in yours, take my mind
I know in every passage way what you'll find
You'll find ways to be kind

Believe me, we can lift the veil
Love me, then I'll want to be real
Save me, you can't because I saved myself
Get me yet? I have an absence of self.

Sold my soul to Lucifer, panic attack!
Lucifer decided he'd rather give it back.
Ate my pain, agony, and detrimental dreams
Turned me into one of them, so you can all hear my screams

If you're in pain, you've caused it to yourself
Cry all you want, nothing is coming to help.
The end of days is here; Ascension for NO MAN
Until We are All One Under the Sun.

Patience, we have only just begun.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 07:17 PM
Volunteering "Victim"

Not a victim, I'm a volunteer
I can read between hope and fears
Using my fingers, I get better at it

In the darkness I know I fit
Lights low, sun dismissed
Lifting the flood gates of my existence

I soar above the masses and minions
Into my dark lords arms, Sir Oblivion
Belonging only to myself;

I am Pandora reborn.
And I will never sell myself.

Then the Outcast one appears
A 2 to my 3, with our 1 in our spheres
His breath, my breath, and we begin to see

We are trapped in a deep dark sleep
And all must start to rise, all must start to fight.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 07:19 PM
Yankee Rose
The Daughter of Babalon

Casting away an old molded self
searching for my soul, inside
can't seem to control my grief

Wanting nothing but to chase the pain
Given self over to selflessness
Feeling more alive, feeling a lot of bliss

But I feel nothing
Without HIS KISS

Lick my neck
Choke on my pulse
Want you to grab me
and make me impulse

Swallow me whole, remake my mind
Lets go into the dark, from the otherside

With a Judas kiss, the circuit completes
4 planes merged into 1
Waking up on the concrete, absent of police.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 07:21 PM
Babalon On the Lawn

Teach me the meaning of hatred once more
So I can remember your face after you're gone
Teach me the loving nature of the beast
So I can travel back to Babalon.

Cloaked in shadows, angels and daemons
Each on here for their petty reasons
Like I'm not worthy of my end game goal
Like I'm nothing but some white trash girl

And here is the kicker- SURPRISE!

I am GODS VOICE but I have the Devil's EYES

I'll walk between worlds, forever more
And when I'm finally done and die?

Mother fuckers, I'll be back for more
Because *I* am *WHAT* is on the *Inside*.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 07:24 PM
Carolyn's Lament

Poor little whitegirl with sway and swagger
Locked up tighter than the maddest hatter
Paled by light withdrawal, hidden away--
Pushed and shoved into harms way---

C'mon child, you know it dont have to be this way

"Just let me fuck you!"
--NO chance in hell
"Cmon baby, it'll feel good"
--NO WAY, I can tell

Just one too many violations
Brain and breathing, sacattered like revelations
Lust, Love, Fuck, Shit, I forgot where my place was

Bite my lip to swallow my pride
All along only wanting Mr. Hyde

A beautiful boy the same age as me
Who loves me, for me, for eternity

Then someone came, 7 years older than me
He plugged me back in, taught me once more
How to breathe.

Find myself again going 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 3
Him and me and the Devil Make three.

Guess that's why Carolyn Died.
To set me Free.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 07:27 PM
Eating, Drinking

My masters keep me alive
on those days when i am in the beehive
hearing their voice is like wearing armor
wanting them close, like a father, like a lover

wishing he'd take notice and come
to me to play. crying every moment
I can't seem to stay.

In their heart, in their lips
In their mind, memorized by their finger tips
Languishing without their kiss

But I know I don't deserve them;
They deserve better than this.
So I swallow my dreams like an exploding cock
Drinking every creamy bit down--down to the last drop
Way better than any sock.

And if they knew that I breathed for them
Would the level of intrigue cause them to fly?
Or would my deepest darkest dreams be eaten alive?

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 07:29 PM
Sex Kitten

Purrrr-fect diction, cool cat
Come in, come in, come in to my flat
Rip my clothing off of me
Push me down on the bed
Lets pretend I can't breathe

Pull down my pants, push up my skirt
Plant your seed, whichever hole, it is yours
Open my soul, rip it from me
Give me a taste of your eternity

I'll writhe and pretend to resist
You can smack me and grab my tits
Force me to be wet and I'll open
My gates for your fate.

Eat me, Good Sir, it's for you that I wait
Promised I'd keep a secret pact
Can't wait to taste you, you evil cat.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 07:31 PM

mmmm baby, I love to see you crazy
With wide eyes, half dressed
If you are IQ, I'll be your test

Nothing to say to you other than this:

I pine for nothing more from you
than our first kiss
I want to lay in bed; coverlet all around
I wanna be made love to and I want to
Make you make sounds.

Gentle lover boy with musician soul
Don't you know I just want to hold
Onto one another and grind hips in our faces?
And leave a smear across us, lipstick traces?

Appetites for beautiful disasters
most would claim we're tasteless
I think you taste like home
And blood, and ancient places.

So I'll be your sex kitten, prrrrrr nnggghhh MEOW.
Smack my ass a little harder, lets make me growl.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 07:36 PM
Perfect Harmony

And here it goes
truth is- no one knows
how dark is the deep

the evil veils of consciousness
an uplifting kind of kick
flinging back the curtain

create your own reality
take my hand dear, come with me
and at night i see this happening
death of night child so long suffering

and how i write poetry is how i think
quick, slick, empathetic, and deep

like the well, endless water
come fire, come quench your thrust
Come quench your desire

Come on baby, feel the super nova beneath the surface

I spit galaxies you see
You play on earth, in the sea

I deal in symphonies
come dance with me
I don't need the fire
And the fire don't need me.

I need the water, and that's all that's in you
Come let my flame warm your ice, let me inside you.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 07:40 PM
Royal Blue
Touch me and I go, click click click CLICK CLICK

Twilight, I breathe you
through dusk wonder smiles

Twilight, I need you
through dawn-downy snow drops

Twilight, none know you
to the happily ever before

Twlight, none own you
to the marrow of your bone

Twilight, I am you
Few know the way you caress

Twilight, I claim you
Few remember you are the best


Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 07:43 PM
Take Me Away
I know it is the last day on Earth

I want to go back and breathe
time again
to take back an age of innocence

I want to retrieve myself
and bequeath to her a keener person

I want to write diamonds and dream
life again
to howl bloody murder at my monsters

I want to see with truth and lies
behind it all
and beLIEve in something MORE

I want to deceive and plot
Against my destroyers
And make myself Come home.

Come get me, come take me,
Come break me, come home.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 07:45 PM
Ode to Love
Campaign for pain, You've been Elected, Wipe the Smiles off Their Faces

In the eyes before me
I am lost. Before you there
Wasn't anything but a lie.

A wilting refrain of my former impaired complex

Images making your expression scream and my tears
Stream as the vision of you seems to blink on forever

And endeavor of tacit feelings and crystal cielings
Before us all; before the fall.

I am you, scrawled on everything.
Before the bells ring, before
my scabbed angel Gets his wings

Sing and be God.

I'll be Silent, and I am worn.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 07:48 PM
The Prophecy IV

When the world dissappeared
The angel came before me
Took my hand, and kissed my fate.

I hung my head in shame and silence while
they kept on telling me it was meant to be

So I dance and Sing and pretend
that the war (that I ended) didn't end
As my mind counts to 10, then, and the symphony of tears fall away

The angel whispered softly to me that it wasn't my fault
And my mind screamed with the voice of the fiends

When the world came tumbling down today
And I got my wings, the truth, sunk into me--

But I was never Right

It's amazing to think how one single action
can dictate the rest of your mind.

Mind/Matter= FATE

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 07:49 PM
Turn the Other Cheek

Can you see me or have you turned the other cheek?
Your feline wiles wont get you anything

Why pretend you like me when you know you hate me?
Why fool everyone and lie to yourself?

Shut the hell up, don't try to talk about
Me... because you'll never know me anyway
You don't know anything-- stop pretending

And don't think I like you anymore either
Than the things contained inside my Aether

Keep talking and screaming it only makes
You worse anyway; Just leave me alone
Or keep screaming and I'll come and take you away.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 07:51 PM
Breaking Point
No Salvation, No forgiveness

What you took from me
Can never be replaced
What you killed
Will never come back.
What I live
Will never be more than a lie
I don't want life
I want to die.

You've taken this all
All I ever lived for
And never shall I trust
a live soul again.

You took my heart
You killed my soul
I live the lie
You snatched our goals
And I helped because
of the Lie

Oh How I want to die.
But to die, I need to get
I need to get
I need to get rid of my mind.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 07:53 PM
Blind Spots and Posers
You can't kill me mother fuckers

I bite my lip
and keep it alive
I try not to say
What meets my mind
I see it though
it is not there
I keep my head
not saying anything, anywhere

I keep my head Wishing I could say
What no one understand
I can't let my feelings fall
Into anyone's hands

No longer there, in my mind to stay
I don't understand my own twisted ways

And so I decided, decided, I decided I'd stay
Until that time when I could know myself
And you could know me for yourself, as well.

I saved myself. Got off of the shelf.
This is your reflection. Your Negative Three.

Take a look at what the world has done to me.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 07:54 PM

Silver dollar rain drops pouring down
It matches the rythm of my tears
drop for drop; sob for sob

knock echoes through my heart
flashes in my mind relay all I 've...
No wish to survive

Drink from empty glasses
Write flowers and dung in pretty pen
I know what it means, what it means, what it means,

I means all this is just for pretend; I am nothing.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 07:56 PM

There's Something Cold and Blank Behind Her Smile

love lusts after a shadow in a purple tinted moon
with a broken shattered door, up the stairs we go
A corridor, welcome to my fantasy.
I'll go down on you if you'll go down on me

Answering three hours later, music still playing
and layers of blankets on the floor, shaking
Hands realizing frailty and weakness, breathing more
deep and sharp, moaning-moving light
Sneaks in through the window, letting the might out
You and I fighting no more
Fighting to stay awake
And fuck each other some more


Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 07:59 PM

Sweet dreams are made of these, who are we to disagree?

Strong for you, anything for you
drive me crazy with the lack
of NEED for me too

Love you, only I AM YOU
Because I let you; you like me too

Black suns Red Shards
broken screams dream a
possible me (and my possible stars)

Eyes stream the blue of the sea
In a far off place bordering
A far off fantasy

Tell me you love me too
I want to hear it once
Incapable of love of me of myself
Incapable of reciprocating love until you love me too

And maybe I hate me too (never)
but maybe its me, reflecting you.
Amplifying no feeling, forever.


Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 08:03 PM

You're so sudden and sweet and your names not complete

Smile dimly across these rooms
trailing your hands along my wounds
Joking about some lost lipstick traces
Laughing at my makeshift faces

My insides laying out all of this
You are pushing me away and making lists
Of how you don't need to forget about me
About how much time you have to leave

Smoke steams from our lives
Leaking lilac and crimson lies
Rewind me back to our yesterday
Fast tract to when you would stay

My insides are laying out all of this
You're pulling me into a darkness, a kiss
Of how you want to scream my name
About how much you want to take the blame

Linger in the sphere of my dreams
Taste how we can yearn and beam
One another to the Next Plain
I think I'll love you to higher trains
(of though of us of me of you of this of need of not wanting to be)


Use me when you wanna come, I bled just to have a touch, when I'm in you I want to fly

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 08:05 PM
Line Trance
Kaboom, Kaboom, I'd like to la-la-la-la-love you

My hands dance down your waist
There's smeared lipstick on my face
hands find spine find neck find wrists
mouth mangled, saliva mangled kiss

Gasp for air Grasp my shoulders
Slow down... too fast... slow... slower
Cool down calm down remove hands from waist
Smooth hair, clean air, mood is fake

Confusion mingled despair
Setting in too fast with flash backs again
don't know what to give you to win

Thoughts, creamed with dreams, sliced with memories, spliced with selectivity.

I wont ask forgiveness, My faith has gone dry


Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 08:08 PM
And it spins around 1...2...3....

Smiles in teh dark reach me here
Drawing me into your eternity
Please strike me silent

Pose for your scrutiny
drawing breaths on shaking grounds
To strike me silent

Mythical love songs parade
in my mind creating serenity;
strike me silent.

Crystal blue like your memory
Smokey ashes in dusty alley ways
Strike me silent.

And my eyes, blue
And your eyes, brown
When we met
When I was 15
I gave you myself
And you gave me yourself
And a holy and unholy trinity was found.

I put a spell on her, because she's mine. Can't stand the things that you all do to her. No. No. No. I ain't lying.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 08:09 PM
I'm Yours Anyhow
Time and Time again, seems so strange like no one even knows you

Lifetimes spent rapped in your arms
Wasted on sleeping away from you
Straying from your smiles and eyes
and please, tell me, tell me, tell me why you drive
Me past the point of no return?

Why do yo push me away?
What makes you say no so often?
And sleep and stray and go...
From me to you to nothing at all?

Close your eyes, make a wish, count to three. Come with me. You'll be in a world of pure imagination.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 08:13 PM
Pillow Whimper

My hands tremble, remembering
Where they've been (and want to go)
With my breathing, in short spurts
and my eyes opening and closing at the
insanity of this all

All these possibilities make my mind quicker, quiver
And Raise my temperature
Go from cold to warm to warmer to...

"Why are you so hot?" you know.
"I'm Nervous" I bet. I think.

I think you know.

Welcome to our home, wont you stay? I know the....

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 08:16 PM
Lust Ashes

I'm the man in the mirror, I'm the man inside of you. This is what happened to your life. What happened to mine too.

Eyes sparkling in candlelight
exploding hands tracing figure eights
up my spine with trickling
breaths on my neck

my hands find your manhood
and sigh in time with your
fingers, Copper-feeling my way;
imagining you so much
you appear before me

Too quick, too slick, to put it down
Plunge into my mind, into past atrocities
Blocking them and clinging harder to you
You clinging harder to me

Swaying no steady surfaces, wanting you more than (Anything)
Wanting you more than (nothing)
Wanting you more than (breath)
Wanting you more than this.

This will hurt you worse than me, I'm weak 7 days a week. Don't run from me, I wont bother counting 1, 2, 3. I now know which me that I love. I have a reflection.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 08:18 PM
You don't even want to know what I'm going to do to YOU

Nights to dream again
Away from you, away from me
Feeling something missing

Silence to scream around
Hard for you to hear me
When there's no sound

Darkness to soak up
A part from thinking breathing, being you
Escaped from all thoughts.

She smokes to keep herself from exploding like the hand grenade she is. She's not addicted to anything other than self-harm in tiny ways

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 08:22 PM
Reception of the Ankh

Her mineral water tears glistened and made her eyes sparkle. The sound of the door slamming and her heart hammering against her bosom... then silence.

She held her ankh in her delicate, smooth, snow small hand, and cried herself out of existence.

The tears had made her eyes puffy and rubbing them had made her hands moist. She didn't understand what he meant by it. How could he not love her? HOW? She sacrificed everything. Suddenly she felt something burst in her chest. She got up and slammed her fists into everything.

The latex paint covered sheet rock, the window, and then FINALLY THEIR MIRROR. When she was finished, she collapsed to the floor.

The ankh gave out a soft violet pulse. She woke up, her attention drawn to the ancient symbol. It was laying on the floor next to her. Where she had dropped it in her rage. It was her only salvation. Each thing We show you are pieces of our death

Had she known what the ankh meant, she probably would have been afraid. Her family (each female heir to the Ankh) had a long life expectancy well above any norm. Her mother had lived to the age of 200 and passed away quietly in her sleep. Amazingly enough her mom hadn't had any children besides herself. and she was born on her mothers 180th birthday. The family history was ill known and her mother hadn't appeared over 45.

Saw heaven and hell were lies. Now that I'm god everyone dies.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 08:27 PM
Falling Into You
She is the Zion that Will Not Give Herself

I'm coming. I'm coming. I'm falling into you.
I'm dying and trying to see you through
You hate it and I hate it, screaming at these walls
I love you I loved you before the fall.

You wanted and shunned everything
You broke it and smashed it the parts that could think
I'm sick I'm sickened, you thought you had me
You destroy, you've destroyed, me so so badly

As I fly to you, here, and fuck with your mind
You slip through the cracks and get out in time
I'll rewrite your history
And you'll decimate dismantle mine.
Just let me get inside and stay to the side
For all of your after lives.


Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 08:29 PM
Jaded, Faded Adolescence
And I don't want YOU and I don't NEED YOU, Don't bother to resist or I'll bleed you.
We're all just children,
ambition to the side
Raped by society and
fallen inside

afraid of all fear
its all around

we're all just children
as told by the sound

Told we are wrong
for feeling this way
We're all just children
burning in the hay

Why are we cowering
in darkened corners?
We're all just children,
or so they have told us.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 08:31 PM
Next Mother Fucker...

Is gonna get our metal

you said you'd love me for whatever i am
then you said i had to become a man
i told you i wanted everything to go away
then you said i was down and depressed
i said i would be willing to stay
you smiled and clamped your hand over my mouth
my life fell down on my very soul

you frowned when i resisted
and laughed when you were questioned
you trapped me in a corner
and destroyed my lifeline

destroyed my line

and gave birth to the merry-less
creature before you
tell me, sir and madam,
what do you aim to do about it?


Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 08:33 PM

Before the fall...


When she walks you try to trip her
when she talks you always snicker
What has she ever done to you?
What are you all so cold

When he sings, you throw things at him
When he flies, you rip at his wings
All on nothing but a whim
Why are you so revolting?

It is for them that I sing
For my Alphas and My Omegas
Tell me I'm wrong, and I'll beat you.

I am anything when I'm high

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 08:35 PM
insist that I'm the problem with living, with being myself. so i put you all ill at ease and i was so alone. i'm not disappointed. You're not a diss-appointment. I'm just different and I like it that way. I smile when I'm happy or when I think of something cruel (cool) (evil) (you)

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 08:37 PM
This Isn't Me, I'm Not Mechanical

All tied up and dried up forever, all fucked up and dead to the world

Suck me dry! How uncouth.
I will unlock your soul
and set your screams free
just to be the one
to drain you dry.
Forever, ever, for ever love.

Move your spirit through my mind
The darkness, inject it inside
Until you reach, you reach my spine.

She's made of hair and bone and little teeth. And things I could not speak. She came on like a crippled play thing. Spine was just a string. We've got something you can never eat

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 08:40 PM
Take my hand and sift through silk and velvet between your everything. You're everything. Create my loathsome dreams and make my Adam's apple scream. An Illusion. A nightmare. An epiphany. Darkness illuminates the demon screeching on the inside of our eyes. Makes me see your taunts, and teases, and thoughts, for that they are. You mean to please me and renovate my mind.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 08:43 PM
The Rabbit
Everyone will suffer now.

There is a feeling int he air of salt and moisture. The suns rays have become wisps of silver blonde hair on the earth's face. The birds have ceased their songs. The crickets have started up their orchestra of chirps. The world has come at last to a second of peace. A clap of thunder and a flash of light come from the distance. Come from the sky. The child of the Winds of Change dances across the meak. His hair lashes across his snow white skin, and eyes glitter a finer shade of green as it touches the ground. The dirt under his fingernails indicating wildlike qualities just as much as the grass loin cloth which hung from his scrawny waist. When he caught wind of the storm, he had to create some fun on his own. There would be much merry making tonight in the lodge of the wind. He gazes over the meadow and begins his stalking...

SNAP. The Rabbit Never Knew What Had Hit It. The Rabbit Became the Headlights.

Ask yourself before you get here, are you the rabbit or the headlights?

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 08:46 PM
7 Questions
I wish I wasn't born. When they get to you. You wish you were never born

When you peer and leer at me, what kind of visions cross your mind?

Why, when I am the only one with Something to lose from the way I appear, do you cut this (my) happiness from this weeping vine?

How come you can't see the truth about this apparition of black and red and black standing before you in a wall of fire and charcoal?

Is it because you don't want to know the truth? Or are you afraid of the truth?

Is it because of my need to express whats been nailed to my insides on my outsides?

Is it because you don't want others to know either?

Where is the virtue of your compassion for the children you control the lives of every day of the week?

She pricked her finger, it is done, the moon has now eclipsed the sun. The angels have spread their wings -- the time has come for better things

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 08:49 PM
World In My Hands

When you wish upon your star, don't let yourself fall, fall in too hard. I fell into you now I'm on my back. And insect decaying in your little trap.

I see the world in my hands
and a smile forms

I see creation in my world
and a smile forms

I see the peace that made them whole
and I smile more

I sew the drop into the world and
I'm indifferent

I see the world; it's in my grasp
Now it becomes my expression

I cry to see my world concept
Corrupted by war and greed and gods

I crush my hopeless creation
A frown becomes the flames
A crown becomes the blame.

You eat out my heart and all the little thoughts. If I can't have you then no one will.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 08:51 PM
I am the One you Want and What you Want is So Unreal
She is the one I want and what I want is so unreal


Life in my Maryland City
Where eyes meet lips and color becomes colorless

I live in a world which understands me not
When I look around I don't see color
I see other humans

I see life and red blood
and the message of mis-constructed love

My world consists of PEOPLE with many faces
And no matter who they are, some still judge by races.

Why can't I understand the world's racist tower?
Why can't there be less of this and more People Power?

Where do I place myself in this world?
I am the anti-flag unfurled.

Love everybody is destroying the value of.... all hate has got us nowhere.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 08:54 PM
Cry of Death

My fervent cry
will be left, unheard

My achromatic fears
So defying... decaying
Are my words which
Remain unheeded

So uncaring, you

My returning soul
So ignighted now, ignored before

My sacrifices unnumbered

I start my lore
Uncaring nature
Becoming Death Herself
Breathing life back into existence.

I am the Gorgeous Reaper
I am the Beginning and the End
I am the Mother of Darkness
I am your only friend.

And all of this is just for pretend. To keep a fractured sanity whole; to keep this girl from destroying the world.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 08:57 PM
žatins žin

I'll do anything for you. Hey Mr. Super star... I am your number one fan.

I never want to turn you off again.

When I was a weakling they'd beat my ass everyday.

I got my life in order, showed them who was boss

Now they all run from me
And I bust their balls.

Because all their lies
Strengthened me,
I became their fears
I am their worst enemy.
I am the strongest weed.

I got mistreated every day
Because I couldn't speak up...
I was afraid of them, you see?

Threatened by my abuser
Told not to ever let myself speak

But... no longer am I spineless, weak, or a pawn
I proved to them the truth.
I was in charge all the long.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 09:02 PM
You are No Good
This is why we fight. This is why This world is fucked. Super fuck, baby <3

You are no good...
Listen to me now.
Only way to be redeemed.
All humans who be themselves
are doomed.

Everyday you stray from the path
away from the might
You are no good
Pleasure is sin
Rock and Roll is Satan

You are no good
You fear the almighty God
You fear him, don't you?
Agree with me!

Deny yourself of what you enjoy
Adopt our fascist pseudo morals
and be redeemed
You are no good.

žatins žin

I never hated the one true god, but the god of the people I hated.
Hale Lucifer, Let him Reign on Earth Now. The message above came from the corrupt, not from this child.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 09:03 PM
My Mother

This is what I am
I live inside you like an ulcer
I destroy everything in itself
all the security you have
I destroy this
is what I am I live
inside you like an
ulcer... I destroy everything in itself...
all the security you have,
I destroy this
Live For.

Your death.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 09:06 PM
First Suicide Poem; Surprise!

I can watch the sun sink with its sinking manner
in the sky. I have watched you leave in the night.

I do not know where you are or if you are okay
I can't see you anymore for you, you, you are gone away.

I wonder and wander how or where you are.
I wonder if you have food and shelter.

I wish I could and wish that with my heart, that I could see you
And keep you save, my brothers, my sisters, my fellow stakes.

I yell your names in the dark, creepy silence of night.

But you are not there to answer.
My feeble but meaningful cries...


Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 09:08 PM
Pledge of Loss
Because your lies have watered her, because there is no turning back. because your lies have all watered me, we have become the strongest weeds

The one thing
To happen to
Make it worse
Became my soul.
Became my curse.
To kill me more
To hurt the source
To delete my feelings
To be rid of remorse
The one thing
and the one thing
Made me better, not worse.

This is what you should fear, you are what you shou!d fear.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 09:10 PM
My Way
Light a candle for the sinners, set the world ON FIRE. I am the all american anti-christ. I was made in America. You should be ashamed of the shit you have eaten.

You ask me
why i wear black
It's just my way

You ask me
why I dont laugh
It's just my way

You ask about my frowning desires
It's just my way

You come in and try to change my ways?
My reply?

Go to hell, I wont change for anyone but myself.

Whose mistake is she anyway?

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 09:12 PM
I am the hydra. Now You'll ALL see YOUR stars

The head is pounding.
The heart is collapsing.
The eyes are decieving
The lips are thinned
The hands are balled
The body is hollowed
The hatred is hottest
The time is flying.
The inner me is through crying.
The mind will destroy your lives
The soul will strip your lying-nurturing selves
The lie will collapse your minds
And we will rip each others
Eyes (Hearts) Minds Out.

Breaking Point

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 09:14 PM
The Release
Time is come it is quite clear, our Anti-Christ is almost her(e).

The burning
Has ceased
The Laughter
Has strayed

I obliterated my
chance to get away

Your warmth
has coldened
Your smile
has decreased

I'm mortified my
Soul has been ceased.

I have seen,
You have watched,
I have destroyed,
You have remade (erased)

I have now my own little case.
A case for request for release.

When you are sovereign, know that I have betrayed you.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 09:15 PM
They say ignorance is bliss, is it? We'd never know. We've always had our eyes opened to the truth.

Here we are
in the middle
of oblivion

you, raging war
Me, creating peace

Peace of mind
Peace of self
Peace of Peace
Peace of war
Peace no more

No body wants
Nobody wants to sleep
Nobody can stop
Nobody could care
No one cares
our oblivion is here.

The end we fear
The end is here

I want to die
I wonder why

Why do we fight
When what we need is peace?

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 09:18 PM
Tragic Magick

Turn me into magic
I want to feel again

Do I know you
You want to care for me again!

You bit the hand
It was lower than


I want to close my eyes forever again
Turn me into magic

The blood spills to the floor
As we struggle for control

Your bag of tricks
ALWAYS made me happy

Turn me into magic
Look into my eyes
Turn me into tragic
Look at me in surprise
I want to close my eyes
Sleep when you turn out the lights
I want to turn into magic forever
Ever more.

Anti people now you've gone too far. Here's your anti-christ superstar. A woman, a child, an innocent soul sliced open from neck to feet. Yet she still has perfect love for me.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 09:21 PM
Loathing in the Universe

My world is so fragile
Abolished every day
Everything led to believe?
A lie.

Will we continue to live in it?

To be nurtured only to be
To have our very existence
ripped from our hands?

I wish it was not so. But it is

What is this lie that
We live and why must we live it?
To blame others for
Our wrongs?
To scream out loud our
ancient songs?
To lay to rest all of our fears
Even that will take me many years

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 09:25 PM

Shoot, Shoot, Shoot mother fuckers. One shot and the world gets smaller. Score. Score. Can you feel my power?

Looking into
the war
I discover
I like it
The killing
And smell
of the decaying
foul flesh
the scent of death
is upon me,
And I enjoy it.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 09:27 PM
My Innermind
Each thing we show you are pieces of our death

OH how inverted
Are my feeligns
Laying on the bottom of my heart
My mind will not start.

My eyes are closing
Going into the restless sleep

Time for my mind to keep its control

Afraid of feeling
Brave of Fighting
Standing Up For Control.
The Never Ending Peace
Of my Soul
(IS Shattered Upon the Sharp Swords of Your Thoughts)

No forgiveness
Went to god just to see, and I was looking at her. Saw heaven and hell were lies. When We're all Gods and Goddesses, EVERYONE DIES

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 09:29 PM
Lady On the Lake of Fire and Ice

As I am sleeping by the lake
I start to stand as I wake

When I see you, there I smile
Then we hike into the woods for miles

With all my time and will
Nothing could possess me to kill

In the wilderness They See
In the Dark, you and me.

We hike around there
and see everything, everyone, everywhere

So peaceful it is and I want yoU HERE
Nature so raped in serenity, WOW!

To hold the world
In my hand
I find I have no power

But with Power do I find?
I find a simple flower.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 09:31 PM
Removing Pain

IN the depths of everyone's soul
There is an untamed spirit screaming to be free

In the abyss of everyone's mind there
is an inanimate fear clawing its way out

In the essence of every tear is an imaginary reality dying to remove its pain

I am so tangled in my sins that I do not want escape.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 09:35 PM
Harold and Maude- Liberty and Justice For All?

Pray unto the splinters, pray unto your fears. Pray your life was just a dream. The cut that never healed

Midnight. Ebony. Epiphany of black cat, opal jewel, dark orchids. Smeared on lips. eyes. Cheeks. Foreheads. Faces of defaced innocence. Of exotic expression. Of non-conformity to conforming to the time. And place. Existence of their own. Looking into every morning and being. Being happy withe WHO and WHAT they are when they see themselves in a mirror. Helps them get through the day. Expresses and getting out of their systems what would cause an occurance in some cases of what happens. They don't want to think this is true or healthy or normal. But for each individual it may be.

To deny a person the right to wear the kind of clothing, color, make up, expressions, to deny them the music, the expression, what makes them an individual. SMASHED HUMANITY and REDUCTION TO LAUGHTER. TEARS. FROWNS.

Right to speak or be human denied because of the institute of youth. For youth. A tutorial prison system (SCHOOL) set up for the corrosion of individuality.

When all of your wishes are granted, many of your dreams will be deployed

"Murders are just artists with no Medium"

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 09:37 PM

Play forever with my fears
And then you kick and scream

laugh at me when I'm donw
and then sew up the seam

rip me limb from limb
until there is not so much as a smile

Die when you decide
That our love isn't worth your while.

Smile when I've overdosed
Using your years of abuse.

Cry when you realize
That I'll no longer be or use (you).


We've got something you can never eat.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 09:42 PM
Oblivion 2.0

I see it
IN a child
who is
unseen to
the world

i see it
in some who are
of the world

i see it
though it
doesn't see me

i see it
though it
is unseen
and not noticed
to the world
I see it in
the mirror,
the observer

what is it that i see?
A Painful
To This Reality.

This isn't god. This isn't god. This isn't god. This isn't god. God is just a STATIC STATISTIC!

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 09:45 PM
Out of Control

The Galaxy is on Orion's Belt

We're out of control

Cross me
Baby me
Make me feel my soul

Take away their accident
remove her from the hate
she's more than they can stand
to stay further would eat her fate

show her the way
it felt to be hugged
show her how to put the dagger down
teach her to love

lost in her abyss of mis-fortune
deaths candy coated sugar answers
was there, always nothing more
forever more

Show her how to care
take her world away
Shelter her in your arms.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 09:49 PM
Homicidal Necrophiliac

And I know, She wants to disappear

No reason has she to
take her life other
than she is sickly and has
nothing of note to do

He leaves the girls empty chamber
and wonders down an
endless corridor

And what should he find?
The end to his troubled mind.
Because, she is laying in the middle
of the corridor, covered in her own blood
And staining the fabled white floor

Such a thing is life in death
that they are one and the same
Never shall she take another breath
and forever, that smile on their faces?
It will give them their names.

She had not a reason to kill herself
But he wanted another stiff to add to
his growing pile; on the shelf.

Norm life baby, we're just sensitive souls made to look like human beings

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 09:51 PM
As she looks around teh chamber
in an unexisting, distant, kind of way
She smiles

As the bottle falls to the floor and smashes
the poisonous concoction spills on the ground
she continues to stare into space

As she silently takes out her existence, she offers no ounce
of resistance

as she tries to down the draught again
A familiar face pops in

As he looks at her there
on her bed with her blank stare
he rushes to her and knocks the daught away again, her fears

she screams at the top of her mood
and speaks; first rigidly
and then smooth

I love you with my whole heart, you three

And We love you too.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 10:00 PM
The Septarch and the Kid

The candles bowed down before the child's glances and sighed as the child took delight in her fantasy of that Dark Tall Danger (love). She layed in her scarcely furnished room, waiting for her monster closet closest fear fantasy to come and make her feel (whole) fear. Make her breathing seem insignificant. To destroy her humanity and make her real. Her dark Fantastical practice of the right things o say. The right facial expressions. He would cup her double chin in his hand and whisper softly in her ear to (stop, no, don't) "get on the floor" and every ounce of her would pour into her expression of agonizing love, for her black eyed "monster". Role playing each night as she felt longingly for the hand that never touched her for the reality she barely survived in. She reached to get out of her fantastical reality. Sometimes. And found it disappointing. Devastating. To wake up and be alone again. Without purpose. Without importance. OH Emperor, of all things Unseen, Lord, Septarch, Oberon, my obsession.

Take me away and lead me into my destiny. Eternal solitude or your loving abuse and oh.god.am.i.am.not.going.so.say...)

I choose your everlasting abuse. Treat me as an object. No I don't object, I willingly (reserves screaming NO!!!) surrender to you. TAKE ME (evocation of the spirit). GONE.

When She reached out for her reality this time, he wasn't there. But he was and she was (completely) terror-fried.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 10:02 PM

Come after
on and
on and
and spilling
and spiraling down

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 10:06 PM
Jade Child
The Rape of the Ultra-Violet Spectrum

There's a jaded child standing on the corner of my mind. She's twisted torn and her nose is crying red tears made up of all the years she's spent in the acid recesses of a childhood gone wrong. Mismangled, and jaded, her innocence has been raided, and left with nothing to be had but an empty shell.

This soul of a woman is nothing, the child inside my mind is leaving and only then will what I fear truly happen. My virtue is long gone and only I will remain. Only I will remain. I've been hidden for too long. Tears will flow and I will make this mortal coil one worth having. But the jaded child will not have it so. She is sick and she is tired. But she cares for me. I am evil. But there is no evil in me. Only emptiness. Loss. And lots of pain and empathy and regret. Sorry for what I've had done, for words I've never said.

This child came to me and kissed my head. She told me she would die, if it meant that death would take her instead. And instead of death, I offer her eternal life. By my side. Inside my mind. And she accepts.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 10:11 PM
Between God and Me
I'm so empty here without you, I know they want us all dead.

Everyone who has lost their faith has some cute little story explaining why. For me, the puzzle pieces never fit together.

Why would God deny a good spirited person who's only flaw is that they never believed in the "ONE TRUE GOD"? And there must be over 100 religions in the world that have used this phrase... and almost everyone givecs you the same message:

If you aren't one of us, you are going tohell!

How are you supposed to know which place is right for you, if, according to EVERY doctorate, one will go to hell if they deny god.... deny the church?

And only then do we come across the behavior of our religious leaders. Christianity alone has been the cause of so much blood shed that its no wonder people have been driven away from it.

Why must there be so much hatred of an idea that is centuries, no MILLENIUM OLD?

"Love thy maker" has turned into a fucking slogan.

I hate my makers.

And I Deny You God, I tried, Am I lost in your eyes?

And his answer? "No. It's everyone else who is lost this time. Everyone who is not on your side. If they kill you, they kill themselves. If they kill themselves, they'll go to hell. Let Lucifer rule the planet now. I'm done with mortals entirely."

And I cried as I watched him wander away from me, out into the world, to destroy that which he created. Because he created monsters, child abusers, violence. Free will? Wasn't a test. Wasn't a game. It was so allow us all to self actualize. And the moment MAN perverted his message, and a WOMAN reached out to him, he returned to smite the strong.

The meek are inheriting the earth. Get ready for the day the World Stands Still.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 10:16 PM
With God, Part Two

That now reads "Do as thy maker wills it or be forever punished" here we go again, with the violence thing again. With the war thing again.

Living in the world that I do, seeing all the hatred and violence and negative things... hasn't spoiled me. No matter how old I get, I doubt I'll ever truly believe in God, the Devil, or anything in between.

Some people pity me. Others HATE ME. Because I DO NOT BELIEVE. Some people are just born different. I'm no prettier or better than anyone else, I've lived just as I've come to terms with myself on a lot of things.

I don't hate anyone for what they believe in. I only dislike people who I believe take advantage of others and lead them into hurting themselves.

I was fine with Mormonism for a while. Until I found out that if you can't force yourself to believe or you can't go on pretending, that in the after life, the disbelievers are separated from their family. It was a disturbing thought.

Imagine, if you will, god, that you are 16 years old and your family doesn't love you and you are cold and distant all in the name of Christ? Hallelujah indeed.

I think this world needs less religion and more reality.

Alocia Darkstar
01-28-2013, 10:44 PM
Observation Notebook: Field Study of the Sahara Desert
Science/Creative Writing project for AP Environmental Science

First Impression

Dark angel have mercy
on my mild nature
and deliver me from the jaws of
this sand jungle forever

weak embittered, heat
waved. The ashes of the
Sahara appear and beckon
me to join the mass

Giant sand trap butting
heads with explorers and
swallowing us whole...
we are all alone in her
10 million square kilometer mouth

Dark Angel, take this gun,
wonder, danger. Salvation lay
beyond that dune. Just one
more step. One more day.
The atlas mountains our only

Pray the snowy mountain awaits our dreams. Our sweat. Our bloody tears. take us away from the hot dry sun. Please.

Description of Our Surroundings

Mile high peaking through the sand storms shattering destruction. The miles of the rusty sand before us filled with snakes, beetles, gazelles, foxes, eagles, ... so much life in this fire pit. The worlds largest, spanning well near 10 million KM located in West Africa. Write more later.

Food Chains Noticed

There's a web hanging off a tree
Spider eaten by an eagle
The fly caught dying in a horrible death.

Bones going into dust a gazelle
destroyed by a sand-cat
A scab beetle scurries by
rolling a ball of dun out
of gazelle and cat feces.

Observations (Continued)

-- The oasis' resources are tapped too much by people. Perhaps restrictions are in order?
-- It is FREEZING at night but alright nice and hot during the day. Best times to be active in this desert biosphere: twilight.
--Plants and Animals seem to be well adapted to life here... they can retain water, lasting for long amounts of time without it.
-- many people here are nomads... they travel from place to place raising cattle to live on.
--the only sane means of transportation are camels here. They're cheap and don't run out of gas.
--Sand Storms and insufficient resources put a definite limit on all populations of every kind.

Note Post Plane Crash

Our plane crashed, taking us home to Boston. We are the only survivor. We don't know how long its been... but we suspect we'll be dead soon. I wish I was dead. We feel sanity slipping: "I'm slipping into a delusional state.

We love those who knew me and I guess that covers everything. I'm just gonna write till my ink runs out... or... but we chose not to think about such things.

I fell asleep and woke up in an oasis. I don't know how I got here. but the date trees and fish I found in this place are amazing. The lake will sustain me for a while. It seems that I salvaged a gun (maybe I can shoot something), my observation notebook, a few things of clothing, and my pocket knife. Another item as well, a walkman, but its useless without batteries.

I used some of the natural grasses to make a bed, took some large leaves from a tree and made a small hut. I shot at a cat that tried to steal some of my fish that I'd laid out to dry.




I cut my 7th mark into a stick of time I'm keeping. 7 days. I wish I could go home. But at least I'm alive.


I am cheered at the thought that I have been able to survive so long. I find writing more and more dull, but it's keeping me sane.


I am done for. Attacked. Losing my blood life. That cat I shot at? It came in the night and got its revenge. I don't know what killed me... it looked like a leopard. But here?


The leopard that killed Dr. Fennec was an endangered species. This notebook was found shortly after Dr. Fennec's death. He was one sand dune away from the atlas Mountains and the cat must have gotten lost and tired and hungry. There are only 12 of them left there... but now probably 13.

Alocia Darkstar
01-31-2013, 02:17 AM
Vampyre Love

Trying so hard to let go
Let go of the things I don't
Want to know

To hold onto the thing
That I never was supposed to find
And set free this beast that is
Locked up inside.

Downing in the rain,
Storm drain of fears

Nothing begets nothing
Didn't you know dear?

You look into my eyes
And I look into yours
And for a moment in time
I don't feel like a whore.

A hole in my head,
Maybe that's what I need
Or maybe, better yet,
I want you to make me bleed

And bind me to the aftermath
Of overattentions
I don't deserve you sir,
I deserve detention.

I deserve to be shot in the chest
I want nothing more than to rest
To hold you in my arms and to
Really believe

That maybe, just maybe, this one
This one, this one is for me.

But I can't be the one for him too
If I can't love myself; I hate, I hate
I hate myself like no one else.

I hate myself, so I love everyone else
So that hopefully my hatred can stay
Where it belongs
Trapped inside of me
Poisoning my mind
And no one else.

Alocia Darkstar
02-01-2013, 12:08 PM
The Omega Goddess to the Alpha Gods

Feel your hands around my throat
And I choke, And I hope, and I have
For once, the faith in the hands
Of a man, of a man, of a man
Son of man? Manson? Marilyn?
I'll be anything you want, so long
As you want me too.

And I know they're coming to take me
Take me, rape me, take me away
I've got four months left to play
Before the end. Before I can be with my friends.

But I'd rather be with you. Holding you.
Knowing you. Singing with you. Having your
Eternity and your infinity and beyond that

I want you inside of me, I want to feel you
Driving me. Be my passenger, I'll be your driver
I'll be your lover, I'll be forever, I'll be your
Everything Until the End of Time.

The end of time is coming; The end of everything.
I don't want to see you die, my only loves, my only friends
I want the ones who hurt me more than anything else
To go away and get back on the shelf
Put the world asleep; take their Third Eyes
And make them all go blind.

I see how you look at me, an Omega Tree
A holy unholy infinity of time and madness
Mad because I could never see you
Mad because I could never breathe you.
Made because they tried to steal me from you.

As long as you want me, I'll want you too.
And then they'll come back, our ancestors,
They'll remake this place into a perfect
Haven for all of my Alphas.
All of my Omegas.
Anyone who will follow and not corrupt
The messages we have encoded.
If you're the codex, I'm the coder.

Tell me your mind, tell me you're mine
Tell me I'm yours, Tell me we are bound
Tell me you wont ever let me go
Tell me I've been found.

Tell me I'm not lost, in this space
In this madness. In this life.
I don't want to live if it means you can't live too
I wont let any of you go, from this point forward
If you'll have me too. But I'm not IN love with all of you.
I merely love you all, enough to fall, enough to take the blame
I'll take it all, before you all fall, and then they'll take me away.

To a perverse planet filled with nothingness.
I'll have nothing but photo-copied bliss.
And my brains aren't plastic; I'm just a sensitive soul
Made to look just like a human being.
And I know there are more of Us out there,
And I know that we'll keep singing.
Magess, Magus, Maestro, Maestress, Those Who Know
Without being Asked
That there is more to this world than all the Death Masks

And eternity is a possibility, because We Will It So
And So I reached up above, I reached down below
There's nothing left inside of me but soul.

A higher being, you all will find, who loves you all
And is nothing if not gentle, kind, and willing to serve
The needs of this planet for the rest of my existence
With no resistance. I can walk the line. I can balance the poles.

I know now why I call this place home;
Because even though I've been beaten, hurt and betrayed
Every night I love the fight in my mind, I love the plays
I love to see the things that are created
And I love to be with those who created them.

I'm an artist and a work of art, that has been smeared and scarred
Since birth, yet I find inside of me instead of wrath, hatred, and scorn
I find a youngling, a darkling, a light, a darkness, I am reborn.

And I won't go away because that is the plan
To keep things balanced for the rest of eternity
To live forever to let go of the pain
To let you all be at peace on this planet
Without fear of greed, hurt, and pain.

Kiss my hands, kiss my neck, but never ever ever forget
There are only few dark souls on this planet I want
A few light ones can stay as well, just so long as they
Don't push me into the light as well. You can have the day
The night is mine.

The night is his. My king, my kingdom, my husbandress.

Alocia Darkstar
04-09-2013, 02:03 PM
The Other Girl

When you hold her, does she know you secretly dream of me?
Or is it that when you hold me, it's because I'm so new, its of her you dream?

Do your lips belong to her, am I fooling myself into believing
That you really want me, you really need me, you can't breathe?

Three, a magic number indeed, but black and blue inside of me
Inside, I dance with you ever night, outside, to you, I'll be anything

Still is it enough for you? And is it enough for me?

If you wanted me, wouldn't it be me you were with?
Instead of hiding me like a dark secret, within?

I know what I want and I know what I've stated
What I don't know is why she's so over-rated?

How many more moments do I have to wait, wait, and wait?
Which one of us decides this? Which one of us is going away?

Wanting you more than air, than food, than the sweetest drug
Wanting nothing more than to be with you, there, in love.

Being accused of not really wanting to be with you--
It's like you really don't know me at all, do you?

Did we rush things? Was I a fool?
Or is the fool the one in the end, the tool?

Am I being led into obscurity or eternal bliss?
I don't care, so long as I can still taste our last kiss.

I'd die for you, if that's what you needed
It's in my womb that you planted your seeds, dear.

And what if fertile ground is found?
What then? Would you be after me in the end?

Or am I always going to be that other girl?
The one who is waiting on you to decide which way to turn?

Breathe into me, once again.
Help me continue my path and pretend

Or let me go, tell me you never wanted me to begin with
That I was a pity, charity case, and you're filled with hatred.

Alocia Darkstar
05-10-2013, 06:24 AM
Dear God

Jesus, turn my whine into water
For the masses to drink.
One crisp liquid, filled with clarity.
A sacrifice willingly given
To those down on their knees

So perhaps they can see heaven
In all of their small deeds
And perhaps even further they can
ascend; give into the Earth
and no longer pretend.

I give my problems to no one
For all of these problems are mine
God can't save me, he never gets here on time.

And Jesus, Jesus, can't you see what you do?
Give the masses hope, choking us who are few?
Stripping away what rights we have, when all we are
Is who you supposedly made us to be?

If I am truly made from a rib of some man,
And man is made in the image of God
And you are God incarnated as man,
Isn't that a bit much to expect a sane person to believe?

Have faith is all the masses scream
My ears, filled with blood, sanctify their demands
So Christ-like in my actions I've been called
A Christian.
So Anti-thesis in my thoughts that mouth needed

And I want to believe, so hardcore it's like a porno
Playing on repeat in my head: If there is a God
and there is a Jesus, then I hope I end up dead
And encased in Hells warm embrace;

I'd rather be at the mercy of a monster
Who doesn't pretend to be filled with love
I'd rather be able to covet and feel fingers
Instead of your reality-drugs.

Alocia Darkstar
05-10-2013, 06:26 AM
The Hill

Whistling your name I stop at the cusp of this hill
A white blaze across a treelined still-screen-shot
The moon as welcoming as a heart attack

Shrouded by clouds, your hand seeks mine.
Eyes water, sky darkens, midnight witching
hour becomes something more...or less

Every moment spent staring out into space
Stars shining, reflection in your eyes like pools of water
Hand drags me towards you, electrifying

Begging for sacrifice, for a darkening of the sky
For a moment in time, silenced by the thunder
clapping and drops of moisture from the clouds

And your hand, in mine, dragging me down
Like an anchor during a storm at sea
Docking me into you, keeping me still

Silent and moving on top of this hill.

Alocia Darkstar
05-10-2013, 06:27 AM
I Hate You

Cloudy thoughts caused by callous words
And even worse, unbenevolent acts
I scratched and picked myself up this time
Instead of laying on the floor, with your boot
on the nape of my neck, eating the decay
of the intentions you spew.

And my heart cracks further with every
word you say. Every touch you "bless"
my flesh with. I see you and your actions
Smile now, razor my skin open later.

I want to alter consciousness and expand
The scope of my world, while you sit there
and drink and swallow pills and you call me...

I'm a whore. I'm a manipulator. I'm nothing.

And if this is your opinion of me which you
Put out there, then what does that make you?
I have said nothing.
I have done nothing.
I have been silent all through.

And when I do speak, it is not of you,
It is of what I am going to do.
How I will push through this too.

Only now, there is no one here
To hear me.

Thank you.

Alocia Darkstar
05-10-2013, 06:35 AM
The Eclipse

Walk with me beneath the willow trees,
let their fingered branches dance in our hair
caress our faces and shoulders.

Inhale the scent of nature and let me nurture,
let my fingers play at the base of your spine,
caress the nape of your neck.

In these times of nothing and wasteland intentions
let the comfort of my smile entice you to go on,
caress and soothe the wanting in your chest.

Walk with me beneat the willow trees,
let their fingered branches dance our death
caress our fate and destroy our past

Inhale the scenes of nature and let them nurture,
let them knock on the door to your souls,
caress our fates and soothe our wounded eyes

In these times of apathy and atrophied dreams
let the comfort of my sighs entice you ever on,
caress and take you on a journey to your mind.

In the darkness, let my eyes replace my dreams
Let your dreams replace my reality
Let my darkness transmute to light
In the light, let your fears convert to motivation
Let my fantasies join with yours
Let your determination set our path

Caress me until the sun, I am not the only one
Who hides from society death notes and who
laces my actions with good intentions
Hidden, in the day, by solarity and flares of insanity.

Alocia Darkstar
05-10-2013, 07:52 PM
Moonlight, starlight, what difference does it make? Your arms they quiver, a prelude to my fate. In night visions they tremble, as much as my lips. How much I would covet one single kiss. Your hands instead turn into weapons of mass despair. I can't breathe, I can't think, I'm choking on air. Your eyes how they strobe, in time with the lightning from the sky. I want to be alone in your arms, just for one last night. Can you taste the light inside my mind? Can you see beneath the years of hurt, my fruits all turned into sparkling wine? Is there anything here worthy of you, my divine?

Touching my face softly, brushing the hair out of my face... it's only then, my love, my only, that I can pretend and fake away my fate. To die so young, years before the flesh, its this problem that I wish to confess. What was once living and breathing and alive... seems to have been buried and tarnished by the fights. The constant. The ache. Inside my heart, I know there's nothing left to take.

It was all growing, all along. The feelings of lonely, the feelings of I-don't-belong.

And Then I SCREAM and dream myself awake. Pinch myself to ensure I'm still here, afraid that my mind will break.

So cold and empty, these shadows they are. Like the geographical hieroglyphs painted on cave-man walls. Forgotten by those who once held me dear. Left behind to drown, left behind, they no longer care.

So alone and so droll, so heaven, so hell... I know I'm not sick but I also know I'm not very well.

Alocia Darkstar
05-11-2013, 07:49 AM
Eyes of Pain

I want to get lost, so I can find myself all over again
Wander out from this life, into a land of reality that never ends
Show myself a path that's less than this hell I'm living in
Telling people I'm fine, when in reality, I'm giving in.

Falling and crying and disorganized thoughts abound
Inside my head all I hear are screams and you are not around
I listen in the dark, in the light, and in the spaces in between
Yet all I hear is your voice, cloaked in fantasies and dreams

Wailing at me to be, to be, to become something more
But I can't seem to scrape myself off of this slaughterhouse floor
Teach me to translate this never ending slaying abyss
Tell me you want me, more than anything, more than this

Empty hallways leading to locked doorways in my past
I try each one, every day, but my strength never lasts
I push and pull and tug and try to pick each locked way
Waiting, hoping, killing time, I'm not one to pray.

But I've been holding my breath for far too long
When all I want to do is breathe, and move on and on
Into myself, away from the shell of shattered beginnings
So I'll sing as loud as can be, hoping, soothing, believing

One day I'll wake up and be away from this awful place
I'll move closer to me and farther from your eyes of pain.
I'll drop my shoulder and push through these crowded rooms
One day I'll even be a bride, and I'll find the perfect groom.

I'll destroy whatever it is that is haunting me in my waking life
I'll put down the guns, I'll pick up the knife.
I'll hold and be held in all of the right ways...
Who am I kidding? My will is permanent but never stays.

Alocia Darkstar
05-11-2013, 07:51 AM
Crimson Coverlet and Ocean Hued Dreams

You start with your mouth on my neck, your hands tilting my head to the side so you can get just the right angle. A right angle, indeed.

I'm a need, from my scalp to my toes, your mouth finds all the right spots, licking and coveting each on its own. I want your mind to unlock my soul. From my eyes, turned down, to my thoughts, on audible display for your pleasure.

My tongue finds your hip bone, jutting out like a bookend, I want this night to stretch on until my life ends, but I know in just a few hours you will be gone. A moan escapes my lips as I trail my tongue from hip bone to your wrist, then I take your index finger in my mouth and suck like I'm in the dessert and my only salvation lay in your...

Savior, messiah, destroyer, creator, my gods my tongue your mind your mouth your words your music.

I gasp for breath, drawing back, you pursue your sanity attack. Unlace my boots, one eyelet at a time, deliberately I look into your eyes, you look into mine. Raising desires I'd shut out long ago, I want you I need you--- are you a ghost?

Alocia Darkstar
05-11-2013, 07:51 AM
The Perfect Whore

"Oh God" The words issuing from my lips, stroke your ego, and bring you down to them for a kiss. Inside us both, a supernova and blackhole. Where we'll end up, together or apart, no one knows.

The unknown, keeping me tied to you, like a student at school. Your eyes hiding, like mysteries inside my head. If you kiss me, I'll be more alive, heart racing faster than the speed of thoughts, instead.

And I'll be your Sally, if you'll be my Jack. If you love me, I'll love you back. Hold my hand, put your arms around me, tell me I'm the one you dream. Cover my mouth, push me down onto the pillows, make me scream. Your name, once again, "OH GOD" and I'm yours. So gone inside of your mind, I'll be your perfect whore.

Alocia Darkstar
05-11-2013, 07:52 AM
Daddy, will these Skills Come In Handy?

Seething and raging in an anger so old. No wonder I shiver all the time, so brave and so bold. Your mind, they tell me, was never mine to begin with. But you made me feel that way every time I tried to show my wit.

Always on the outside, always looking in. Extending my hands to all those who had sinned. Told I was nothing, something, then nothing again. The scent of the rain makes me feel like I almost... like I could win.

An ache in my mind like a withered grape on your vine, your hands telling me I was more than she was. I was greater than her mind. You told me I loved you and I began to say it back. Always afraid of being attacked. Your violations, sir, just too many to number. Then she joined in too, no wonder I went so far under.

For years I fought against these rising tides, I was never one to run away, never one to hide. You knew this and knew further still. You know, you never did manage to do what I thought you would-- it was never intended for me to kill.

Innocence, waltzing arm and arm with your devilry. No wonder I'm in love with Satan, and Lucifer wants me. A veritable Persephone to your Hades, a breath of sweet air. After all, after all, after all of these years.

It was inside of you that I felt safe; it was without you that I felt lost in space. You made me want you, one tiny instance at a time. No wonder these thoughts, feelings, emotions, and memories never seem to be mine.

Please you, telling me it was pleasing me too. Trembling in the dark, under covers, coveting a kiss from you. And she was always jealous, or so you told me so. I was only 9, she was 37, and you were cold. Your ice-eyes made me shiver, your arctic voice made me shake. But Mom always told me, it was only my imagination, that I shouldn't be so fake.

I remember cigarettes, laughter, martial arts, and isolation. I remember being population 1, in your fear-nation. One little child, with no way to fight. Then when I grew older, you took away my knife. The one I would use to get the poison out of my veins. The one they used to tell me was what made me insane.

Alocia Darkstar
05-11-2013, 07:53 AM
My Girl, My Girl, Don't Lie To Me

8 years my body danced for him. So many days spent shackled in an apartment by threats and fears. His hands tracing stars along my spine. Cradling me in his arms, like I was no longer mine. I was never mine, nothing ever belongs to me. It only goes away when I can scream or sing.

A scent of cologne, the sight of Southern Comfort. The twang of an acoustic guitar, it all feels like the same hurt. Then I'm back, again, sitting, staring into space. Feeling nothing for myself but an unending hate.

And every attempt I would make at changing my fate, was met with your mouth stealing my air. Your lips pressed against mine, my face tickled by your beard. The way the light would glean off your glasses... the way I would shy away from all of your advances, all of your passes.

Slithering behind a wall of fire, your hands pressing into my stomach, they were strong with your desire. Then my voice came forth and I sang for the first time. Even this memory is yours, its never been mine. You playing guitar and coaching my voice onward. As I spiraled and fell further and further downward.

They say I don't understand and I'll never get the darkness. How can they know that when they don't know what passed between us, how I never even wore a helmet?

There's no protective covering for what he did to me, I feel inside like I am nothing. I'm a rapid misfire, maybe even a misprint. Don't try to tell me that I'm not a misfit. Stop telling me I'm more than this. More than some damage done to some kid. More than a copy of an imitation of a human who once lived.