View Full Version : Fat People Riding Bikes

08-08-2015, 04:48 AM
I was out on my porch and saw the funniest bit. Not a comedy routine, what's on T.V. or even Ace of Base's greatest hits. Though I saw all the signs. Face beet red, a'huffin and a'puffin all out of breath 'n shit. Shaming is wrong. But watching them run from it is fun. Because they really can't, it's too hard when you weigh a fuck ton. Too poor for a car. But always has bones to ride. Skinny hicks, wrapped up tight in her thighs marked with cellulite.

So, I asked. Wobble me this, wobble me that. Why in the WORLD are you so fucking fat? She never replied. So I told her to buy some astroglide. Then I fucked all of her ripples until they rolled out like a tide. She was fit, but she lost most of her ti-ts. She was trash anyway, so my advice was a forklift. To get back home, where Nephilim kids roam.

My methods worked, but they made me shutter. She smelled like stale beer, hoagie sweat and a pile of burning rubber. Then later that day, her kids who are totally gay. Came peddling and wincing and heading my way. I said to them, I am not a pedoph-ile. And what I did to your mom was vile. But keep pushing, and no more incest, you'll feel better after a while. I gave them a chuckle. A wink and a smile. I said do as I say and you'll be better after a while.

Then she called me the next day, from her hospital bed. She was diabetic, suddenly illiterate and pregnant again. But what I failed to notice, is that she never spoke that much. Her family was retarded and what made sense to me, was only because I was high as fuck. Startled yet proud, I showered and scoured. Because soon I'd have a child who would grow up to be just as vile.

It's important to help people. No matter how stupid they are. The meaning of life is laughter. But a mans-laughter can bring disaster. Or a daughter that is slow. Prone to the predators who are faster who will chase her through these hollows. So, now my good intentions have turned into a lifetime of being protective. Just because I thought it'd be funny.....to make fun of fat people riding bikes.

08-08-2015, 12:02 PM

Omg, Shangs, this is some fucked up poetry. I still laughed, but damn....

08-10-2015, 12:11 AM
I'm erect.

Two Faced Egg (23)
08-10-2015, 11:32 AM
Gooood Job - It was no Comedy routine .. . . . (TwentyThree)