Thanks, Petticoat. When it comes to finding romance I really don't persue it as much as I wish I could sometimes. I don't really see it in the forcast even though I've grown a bit more to be able to even start to want to find a companion again. I am happy being single but miss some of the perks. Having someone to have sex with regularly in particular, and I know that is shallow, but at the same time it's also about having that connection with someone. I care more about being able to love someone else than I care about being loved and adored. It's about me having enough inside of me to care about someone else like that. I can think back to the mentality I originally posted this in, even though it was just several months ago, and can see that I left some stuff out. Sometimes I'll post things on here just, not really for attention as some people say, but as a catharsis. I've really become that detached, and yeah being 30 and being that withdrawn scares me. Even though I am starting to give life a real chance, I still fear that I'll never be able to do the things I always wanted to do. I think I said something like "I know 30 isn't old" but as said prior to what you had to say, it's more about what people at this age should and do have vs. what I don't. Then again not all of it is envy. The only envy I have is when I see other people try harder to obtain the things in life that I could easily have, and not personally have to try as hard myself. It's more disappointment in, until recently, a lack of ambition. But the advice you gave makes sense, and I have sort of been working on mastering the mindset you just described.