The last turn before 30.

[Dv5]

Thanks, Petticoat. When it comes to finding romance I really don't persue it as much as I wish I could sometimes. I don't really see it in the forcast even though I've grown a bit more to be able to even start to want to find a companion again. I am happy being single but miss some of the perks. Having someone to have sex with regularly in particular, and I know that is shallow, but at the same time it's also about having that connection with someone. I care more about being able to love someone else than I care about being loved and adored. It's about me having enough inside of me to care about someone else like that. I can think back to the mentality I originally posted this in, even though it was just several months ago, and can see that I left some stuff out. Sometimes I'll post things on here just, not really for attention as some people say, but as a catharsis. I've really become that detached, and yeah being 30 and being that withdrawn scares me. Even though I am starting to give life a real chance, I still fear that I'll never be able to do the things I always wanted to do. I think I said something like "I know 30 isn't old" but as said prior to what you had to say, it's more about what people at this age should and do have vs. what I don't. Then again not all of it is envy. The only envy I have is when I see other people try harder to obtain the things in life that I could easily have, and not personally have to try as hard myself. It's more disappointment in, until recently, a lack of ambition. But the advice you gave makes sense, and I have sort of been working on mastering the mindset you just described.

[MixMastahTee]

Why would you ever want to get married and have kids?

People who have kids just because they feel they have to, even if they don't have the means to support a family, are assholes.

[Dv5]

MMT - I do for the reasons other than what you mentioned. I did however say that I felt the pressures along the lines of what you mentioned. I want kids...at some point in life but certainly not immediately. It's because of both something personal that will always sort of haunt me and also to be able to watch someone I've created learn, and grow, and enjoy life. Not just to watch, but to help enjoy life, to teach, and to see become successful. I want to raise my future kid(s) the opposite of how I was raised, or to ensure they can live a life more positively and more productively than I have so far. I want to know I created someone who meant something to other people, the world, and just felt self worth if nothing else.

As for what you said about people bringing kids into the world without means of supporting it, I agree, but that's for another "conversation". It has nothing to do with me, or this thread, or anything else being discussed. I'm suprised it was even resurrected tbh.

[Hazekiah]

Thirty's no big deal.

In my experience, it was honestly just another birthday until people started piling on all the "OMFG, how do you feel turning THIRTY?!?" and "Time for some major life-changes" pressure and bullshit.

I guess it made sense back when people on average died in their 60s and 30 was quite literally "midlife" and the point at which one began their downward slope in life...but then 40 became "over the hill" instead, and now it's been pushed back even further, closer to 50.

If you live closer to an actual city and further from the midwest people don't even really think twice about it. It's just antiquated thinking and outdated old wive's-tale bullshit. Don't let the foolishness of previous generations rush you past the good years of your own, that's pure folly. No reason to grab a rope and start looking for high branches just yet simply because fucking idiots in the past didn't realize what they were doing to themselves by smoking a pack-a-day and eating 10 pounds of bacon for breakfast each morning.

We have access to modern health care and awareness of risk factors. All that stuff which made 30 such a big deal in the past is preventable and/or at least manageable now. Take advantage of that and live your life!

So I wouldn't sweat that stuff. Especially kids, it's not like your ovaries are drying up, ffs. C'mon...that's what trophy-wives and teenage, Russian, male-order* brides are for, man. Get with the program!

Just take care of yourself by getting regular exercise and taking a good, hard look at your diet and you'll be fine.

Do it right and there's no reason your 30s can't be your second-20s in terms of opportunity for good quality-of-life...just with crow's feet and smile lines this time!

Which hot teenage girls find sexy, btw. Trust me.

>:)




[*sic to get around PM's spambot-blocker, btw]

[Mi-CroMartie]

Why would you ever want to get married and have kids?

People who have kids just because they feel they have to, even if they don't have the means to support a family, are assholes.

Ha, that was my FB status lately aside from the upcoming Valentine's Day rant. :p

P.S. I'm 32... And yes, that's how I feel when people keep asking me what's life like over 30 and when am I gonna get married and have kiddies? Sigh, fuck it... :/

[petticoat]

Hazekiah, you are so right, I mean really, does anybody really know what time it is? ;) All jokes aside, I've found that the larger my range of friends/acquaintances gets, the more that age is really a non-issue in most things. "Dried up ovaries" was a bit wince-worthy, but still, you made some good points.

I probably am not a very good example because I think I have some kind of condition like arrested development or something because I'm many times the only one interested in certain things. I'm usually the one that wants to go til dawn, listen to the loudest music, and so forth. Whatevs, right? I can see the judgement on some people's faces, but I don't care. I know for a fucking FACT I'm having a LOT more fun than them.

Smile lines? Let's see 'em.

[KnaveMurdok]

Here's a lil' song for you Shangs ^~^

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NorNUMoewQ

In all seriousness though... don't ever get old, don't ever be one of THOSE people who gets depressed as their own age. There's nothing more upsetting to me, and I think a lot of people will back me up here.
I have a friend who thinks like this, and it makes me not want to take him anywhere. We went to a bar show one night, no big deal, some bands were playing this dingy little club. He's acting weird the whole night! There was a nice little mosh pit starting. I set down my drink and decided to jump in. I beckoned for my friend to join me. He's like, less than two years older than me, and he backs away! He goes "naw man, I'm too old for that shit now". What do you even say to that? Too old for dancing? too old for music? too old for shows? too old for FUN?
His uncomfortableness made ME feel uncomfortable, like I had guilt about having a good time AT MY AGE!!! D: But then I just said "fuck it" and rocked out, and had a great time and came out of it not feeling the least bit weird. I am a 27 year old who rocks out in a group of peeps from 18 to 50!!! sometimes older! (sometimes younger... -_-)
And at the end of the night, I was happy and tired, and he stayed at the bar all night nursing his drink alone.
Don't be that guy, Shangs.
Don't nurse your drink all night in the corner of the bar all on your lonesome.

Be like Knave.

BE. LIKE. KNAVE. O_O

[Kollaps]

I have a lot of concerns similar to things that have been posted in this thread - but to be honest, I'm 23 and I feel like I have accomplished A LOT for my age. I've been married for two years now and I'm confident I'll be with this person until I die, I worked a job which earned me over 120 thousand a year (which I quit in order to be a poor audio engineering student at University), I've volunteered in an orphanage for almost half a year at 19 and I've traveled through Europe twice and now I live on St. Kilda beach in a cute little apartment with sexy swiss wife. All this, and I left school at 15.

HOWEVER - I am TERRIFIED of being middle aged, which is mostly due to reasons of vanity. Scared of putting on weight, losing my hair, etc. I am actually so fearful of this that I would actually call it a phobia. More oddly, I am not scared of being old. 55+ for an example, I'm actually looking forward to that stage of my life. Middle aged... It's just pathetic... Your a shadow of your former young self but not yet old and wise. You are borderline and dull..

But as for what society, friends and family want or expect of me - fuck that, ... I would be more happy living in a shitty little apartment in a fuckhole part of town and working a shitty job, while traveling and hitting the beers and having an exciting life before I get stuck behind a desk, all sober and shit.

But yeah, two things I am scared of: Spiders and being middle aged. Fuck that..

[Sans Agendum]

[Seven]

I'm nearly 50 and it's no big deal. Every time you look at one of these landmark ages you start to think about what you have or have not achieved and how it will all be down hill from here on in...

Haz is right. It is all about attitude and as you get older you tend to gain a lot more than you lose these days. If you keep hold of your passions and don't allow those around you to drag you into some sad age related stereotype it is as much fun as it ever was. Sure things change but how happy you are at any age is down to you.