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Thread: Childfree & Unmarried

  1. #1
    Strange & Unusual Sinner Halo Infinity's Avatar
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    Default Childfree & Unmarried

    This was another topic that I almost forgot to include here. What's your opinion on people that don't want to have children, or people that don't want to get married? Are you one of them? And if so, have your friends and family been accepting and supportive of your decisions? As for me, I'm still on the fence, but I don't have any problems with people that would rather not have children or never get married. However, I've seen a lot of people condemn others for not having children and/or getting married. If it wasn't for religious reasons, it was for societal and even sometimes political reasons.

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  3. #2
    Death & Oblivion Tick Tock Goes The's Avatar
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    I see marriage as an ultimate romantic gesture. If you can't take that plunge with someone you claim to truly love, what's the point of being together? I also see having and raising kids as an ultimate way of bonding with the one you love; there's really nothing else that could connect two people more.

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    The world would absolutely be a better place if only the people who really wanted to have kids had kids.

    When a marriage or a relationship breaks up because one partner doesn't want a child and the other does, I think it's fantastic.

    People shouldn't let anyone pressure them in to it and they should laugh at anyone who assumes they aren't truly happy unless they do.

    But, of course just as those who take the responsibility of having children, the onus is also on the person to take responsibly for not having children. Which means if you're not going to take reliable birth control, or aren't willing to take the risk, plan b or go through with an abortion, than you should NOT have sex. You can't escape responsibility either way.

    Personally, I find pregnant women strangely attractive but babies are repellant to me. I get quite mad when people do things like bring a crying baby to a movie theatre, a restaurant or on a plane. I'm also NOT cool with paying for anyone else's daycare, as I'm forced to via my tax dollars. You had a kid. That's your responsibility.

    TL:DR They only people who think your kids are cute is you.

  6. #4
    cold blows the wind Golden Eel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Celebrity Killing Spree View Post
    Personally, I find pregnant women strangely attractive
    People actually think this? What happened to you at a young age that so thoroughly screwed up your definition of 'attractive'?
         

    and with just one faint glance back into the sea
    the mollusk lingers with its wandering eye
      
      

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  8. #5
    J.Lecter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tick Tock Goes The View Post
    I see marriage as an ultimate romantic gesture. If you can't take that plunge with someone you claim to truly love, what's the point of being together? I also see having and raising kids as an ultimate way of bonding with the one you love; there's really nothing else that could connect two people more.
    This doesn't apply to everyone, because everyone's love is different.

    I come from a marriage that 'had' to happen because my mother was pregnant (yr. 1965). My parents continued to have three more children thinking it would solve all the problems they had as a couple. They divorced in the late 1990's, and it wasn't pleasant.

    I know enough people to know that love between two individuals is unique in every case.

    My concept of true love has nothing to do with the archaic ritual of marriage or the idea that children will make you (as a couple) complete. If I ever find my true love we will never get married, but we will be together until we die. Children are not in my future because of my age and because I know I wouldn't have the patients to care for one . . . I don't even want to care for a pet.

  9. #6
    Death & Oblivion Tick Tock Goes The's Avatar
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    I'll pull out... I promise.

    I love having sex with zero birth control. One of these days I'm going to catch something or knock someone up.

  10. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by MixMastahTee View Post
    People actually think this? What happened to you at a young age that so thoroughly screwed up your definition of 'attractive'?
    Yeah, I guess I should clarify. This is NOT a sexual attraction. I know that a lot of people say it's perfectly fine to have sex during pregnancy and even somehow "normal." That shit is not for me. No thanks. It would almost be like having a third party spectating only creepier because you aren't giving them the choice to leave and it's also YOUR FREAKING KID!

    Not that it's anything but a fetus, but still. ...Yeah, not for me.

    What I mean is that, I guess I feel institutionally protective when I see a pregnant woman and that, in some primitive way, makes me feel good. Which isn't a valid reason, because emotions aren't valid reasons in and of themselves, but I also suspect that there is some truth to their having a "glow." Which is to say, I've known women who I've considered to be simply "so-so" in terms of looks who later became pregnant developed bigger boobs, a clearer complexion, and just generally became more attractive.

    NOT is a sexual way. More like a Grace Kelly, she's too gorgeous to want to dirty with your penis kind of way.

  11. #8
    Death & Oblivion Tick Tock Goes The's Avatar
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    I'd bang a pregnant chick. If she's lactating too, BONUS.

  12. #9
    J.Lecter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Celebrity Killing Spree View Post
    I get quite mad when people do things like bring a crying baby to a movie theatre, a restaurant or on a plane.
    I'm also NOT cool with paying for anyone else's daycare, as I'm forced to via my tax dollars. You had a kid. That's your responsibility.
    TL:DR The only people who think your kids are cute is you.
    I agree with these statements 120%

  13. #10
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    Emma's Avatar
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    I'm married and neither myself or my husband want children. I see nothing wrong in that, we got married because we love each other - this idea that to be a relationship means you hve to have children is antiquated. I have many nieces and nephews and great nieces and nephews that I love but I've never been maternal. I have too much I want to accomplish in life and I don't want to be one of those parents that blames their kids for not being able to do the things they wanted to - having kids is a choice and once you make that choice you have to look after that kid and do the best by it. If you're not sure you can do that don't have them. I also know some of my reasons stem from my bad childhood. I do not want to end up like my mother, who is abusive both physically and mentally. It scares me if I turned out like her. I know that most likely would not happen - my husband and I are in the mindset that if we were accidentally to become pregnant we would do everything we could to make sure the child had a decent life, with encouragement to be who they are and be all they can. But those fears of my mother- or to put it a better way the woman who birthed me - its there.

    Saying that my sister who is 31, and about to drop baby number three, is a fantastic mother and her kids are happy and intelligent and fantastic little human beings. I'm proud of her. So I guess what happened did not rub off on her.

    However I know I don't want kids, there's too much I want to do in the world and I and my husband are big kids ourselves.

    I think people who make decisions to not have children are making personal choices for themselves and there are many reasons why. I think the human population is doing fine and people should be respected of they don't want kids or don't want to get married- it's a personal choice. Some people marry for the wrong reasons because they believe this is a step they have to take, some get married because they are forced too, and some, like myself get married because we wanted to. We were 8 years together and it just seemed right, something we wanted for no other reason than we love one another. It was that simple.
    Last edited by Emma; 02-28-2013 at 05:27 AM.
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