Hello, I'm not really new to this forum, as I've been checking its posts regularly for a long time before actually registering, but here I am.

After watching the Walking Dead episode dedicated exclusively to the Morgan Jones character and hearing Eastman tell Morgan he had PTSD it made me research the condition further and in doing so I found out I could possibly have it. Long story short: I did something really fucked up almost six years ago and since it happened not a day goes by when I don't think regretfully about it. Since it happened during a school class, it made me move schools two months afterwards 'cause I couldn't bear people knowing and judging me for that, and all this time I've maintained very little contact with my old classmates and I get very uncomfortable when I see things that remind me of what I did.

Listening to Manson during high school was such a buzz, because I felt like someone really understood me. The lyric "We're dead and tomorrow's canceled because of things we did yesterday" from Cruci-Fiction In Space pretty much sums up my school experience. Even though I haven't got a proper diagnosis yet, I've been looking up people who suffer from it in the meantime and after listening to Fundamentally Loathsome some lyrics made me think Manson could have it as well. Check:

"I want to wake up in your white, white sun
I want to wake up in your world with no pain
But I'll just suffer in a hope to die someday
While you are numb all of the way"


That's pretty much the way I feel. My first hour awake it's by far the hardest one, crash landing into reality after shutting my mind and seeing everyone else around me seemingly OK (or numb). Does anyone know about anything else that could support this?