Well, here we go again. As ever, one of the most bittersweet privileges in life is that of celebrating our fallen friends as they drop like fucking flies all around us over the years...and this guy was a fucking GOOD one.
Longtime online Manson fans maybe even remember him from The Heirophant. That was how I first knew of him anyway. He never posted too much though and over time I eventually came to know him better irl as Mike, his real name. But even before I'd actually met him he always kinda held a special place in my heart as ONE OF US who'd actually fucking MADE IT, because he was a cool guy from the middle of nowhere and a huge Manson nerd who actually started and fronted a band that actually SHARED A FUCKING STAGE with Marilyn Manson back in 2004 when his band Lollypop Tragedy opened for Manson at The Rave/Eagle's Ballroom in Milwaukee, WI and I think even a Rob Zombie show there, too. How many of us can say something like that? I know I can't. This guy was fucking special.
More recent online Manson fans maybe know him better from THIS site. Again, he didn't post often but he's been here since the beginning when he DID post it was always interesting, insightful, honest, and fun. I heartily encourage everyone to read his post history here, it's well worth the time and he had a lot to say in just 717 posts. See for yourself! And his most recent posts were just a few days ago so it's definitely a heartwarming time-capsule, such as it is. You also might recognize his name from the chatbox. True to form, he wasn't there a lot either but when he was he always livened up the place with his own particular, hedonistic flair.
And, yeah. It was eventually his undoing. It would be a disservice to reality to dodge that fact and I remember how pissed he was that Steve Irwin's snuff film never leaked because we both remembered him going on at length for YEARS beforehand about how if he ever died on-camera he'd want it televised to help educate people about dangerous animals...so I hope it's okay if I talk frankly about this, just like he always did.
Over the last few weeks, Mike had been talking maybe a little too enthusiastically about heroin in the chatbox and I know several of us always tried to warn him away from that shit but Mike was Mike and Mike always did exactly wtf Mike wanted to do so that was that. Still, it's a shame and a massive loss. But he was clearly very happy and optimistic about things leading up to his final moments so there's that, fwiw. And anyone who'd seen his recent comments basically had no doubts whatsoever about what happened because he was always extremely up front about his interests and that's just generally the way it eventually goes with that particular interest. Especially in conjunction with St. Patrick's Day, which he'd been out celebrating, the context was obvious and sadly plain to see. Apparently, he'd been out drinking all day and capped the night off by having a little too much heroin on top of it and lo and behold they found him barely breathing the next morning.
Personally, considering our midwest surroundings, I'd be willing to bet that it was cut with fentanyl...but it doesn't really matter. Obviously, mixing depressants with depressants is a bad idea and the autonomic nervous system can only take so much. Life support got him through an extra day or so but I guess the prognosis was grim enough that they finally just pulled the plug today. It's fucking really goddamned sad and I cannot stress that enough.
But I don't really mean for this thread to be about THAT, beyond the glaring WARNING SIGN it hopefully represents.
I just want to talk about my friend and make sure everyone knows how fucking cool he was because he fucking EARNED that.
It's actually been kind of morbidly entertaining to see how awkward it is for everyone trying to respectfully mourn someone so drastically irreligious and outspoken about it, lol. Mike would've really gotten a kick out of that. Some people have been saying he's in their prayers and the pals who knew him best are all NO, FUCK THAT, MIKE WOULDN'T WANT THAT, lol. I mean, it's still a nice thought but...yeah. And one of his closest friends posted THIS earlier today; "I'm viewing the corpse right now. Hell has gained it's newest warrior. Hail Satan Mike."
To which the reply Mike would've probably liked best was, "I always had a good time around Mike. He knew life was a joke," lol. It's funny because it's true! And he always got a real kick out of the whole "Cosmic Joy-Buzzer" side of the Church of Satan so shit like that just helps to keep his spirit alive, as far as I'M concerned.
Which brings me back to my point.
A few random anecdotes to help paint the picture...
Mike was the guy who tipped me off to the fact that Grand Rapids is one of THE MOST awesome places to see Manson live, because the club he generally plays there is literally next door to a strip club in the expanded parking lot for a fucking shopping center/mall, lolwtf. As soon as the show ends they seriously just roll the bus over a few feet and BOOM, it's time for the Manson-and-strippers afterparty! Back in 2012 Mike actually had the rare privilege of buying drinks for Manson, which he graciously accepted and pounded while showing Mike hilarious pix on his iPhone. Come on now, that is just INSANELY awesome.
Another time, Manson brought me onto his tour bus for the first time ever to hang out and ask about Teena Byrd because she was being her usual psychotic self and he was genuinely concerned and thought I was traveling with her so I could maybe offer some insight. I had to inform him that I was traveling by Greyhound while she was blowing truckers or w/e and it was always a crapshoot to see which of us would be first in line at any given venue because who the fuck knows. But I kinda had to lie a little bit there because I actually HAD helped convince Mike to give her a ride to the Rock on the Range show in Columbus, OH after the previous show before that in Milwaukee, WI. Which is a pretty long haul and CLEARLY no simple matter! Except for Mike it was. Because he just wanted to help anyone who needed help and she needed a ride and he had the room to spare and it was as just as fucking simple as that. Although, to be clear, he checked first with me to make sure she wasn't going to rape or kill anyone or steal anything and I was just like I MEAN SHE'S BATSHIT CRAZY AF BUT I'M PRETTY SURE WE CAN TAKE HER IN A FIGHT IF IT COMES DOWN TO IT and that was good enough for him, lol, we shared a quick chuckle over it, and that was it: DONE DEAL.
And then we fucking got there and she was of course a pain in the ass and totally dragging down the proceedings but he still tolerated her long enough to let it slide until she decided she just wanted a ride to a truck stop to go home after the show and basically gtfo. Which he happily gave her, such was his nature.
AND THEN SHIT GOT REAL.
At that point, I only kinda knew Mike online, plus his gf, and their insanely awesome, super-hot pal as recent, newfound acquaintances, but we were all naturally fast friends and had hundreds of miles to shoot the shit and bond between shows. During which time Teena was mostly asleep so everything was groovy and we all had a blast. Then we made it to Columbus, saw the show, and had an EPIC fucking afterparty in Mike's hotel room down the street. It was just the five of us until Mike let Teena take a shower and gave her a lift to a gas station or w/e so it was really nbd. Except WOW it was FANTASTIC. Mike and his gf literally had a fucking CASE of whiskey in their trunk and a shitload of xanax so we were just ANNIHILATING that stuff and it was all pretty much GONE within two days because we all just said FUCK IT the next day and got the room for another day worth of celebrating after the end of the tour because WHY THE FUCK NOT, lol. But, yeah, his hot friend and I kinda hit it off but we were mostly just hanging out and watching Mike and his gf make-out and grope each other until all of a sudden Mike's gf, mid-grope, broke away from Mike long enough to grab the nearest whiskey bottle off the nightstand and just TOTALLY fucking dumped probably half of it all over the crotch of the pants I was wearing. I was immediately and completely soaked and all WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU, THESE ARE MY ONLY CLEAN PANTS AND BTW UR FUCKING WASTING IT except before I could even verbalize that she was shoving her hot friend's face into my wet crotch while she just said "DRINK THAT" and laughed, lol. And Mike was practically fucking CHEERING, of course. Hell, I think he was ACTUALLY cheering, come to think of it.
Annnnd then it was fucking ON, to say the least. The room had two beds and it was pretty much an all-night fuckfest as we worked our way through that case of whiskey and kept snorting lines of crushed-up pills. And I'd hooked my camcorder up to the TV so my bootlegs of the last few Manson shows and The Pretty Reckless were playing in the background the whole time and once it got to "Antichrist Superstar" I surprised everyone by grabbing the Bible from the nightstand and shredding it all over the room so we were all pretty much naked, drenched in sweat and liquor, and covered in scraps of Bible-pages sticking to our fuckdrunk bodies. It was fucking GLORIOUS, lol. Again, Mike was over there on the other bed and practically fucking cheering.
And that was Mike in a nutshell. BEST. WINGMAN. EVER. And probably a fucking killer bf, too. Idk for sure but it certainly fucking SEEMED like he was always in the thick of it and having a fucking blast, THAT MUCH is for certain!
But then there was his serious side. He could talk circles around anyone about philosophy but was alway eager to not just lecture but also engage and hear the other person out, too. Hours and hours and hours of that shit except it never got old. And the next time I visited him and his gf at a hotel room after a Manson show I was there with probably one of THE worst gfs ever in the entire world's history of psychotic retards and as much as we were all probably just hoping for a repeat performance he could see how distraught I was over the nightmare I was dealing with and we just hung out and had a really good time being friends while he counseled me on life and just generally helped to make things better. Because he cared. He wasn't just some mindless asshole, he genuinely fucking cared about people.
And I'm suddenly remembering ANOTHER time before that when I was hanging with Mike and his gf in their car before a Manson show because it was winter and so fucking cold outside that the venue didn't even have a line and I was dealing with guestlist bullshit so I kept having to run up to the Will Call window from the parking lot when all of a sudden I came back and somehow my gf was completely wasted and making out with his gf and we both just kinda looked at each other like LOL THIS IS AWESOME. XD
I think you get the picture now, lol.
This guy was just fucking FULL of life and had a really good head on his shoulders plus a good heart to spare. I just wish all of you could have known him like I did and I'm sorry if you never got the chance, so hopefully sharing these anecdotes brings us all one step closer to that, fwiw. And I know the reflex impulse is to be sad except that's NOT how Mike lived his life so I feel like that's the wrong way to go. And I'm really fucking trying here. It's hard but then I start remembering how much fucking fun we had, even in the depths of my misery, and then I can't help but realize how much HE'D probably be the one making the sickest jokes about it, lol.
No, Mike wasn't the prayers-and-weeping kind of guy a nickname like "Goth Mike" probably suggests.
He was more the kinda guy who'd want underage teenage lesbians dancing over his grave as they bring each other to violent, fisting climax and both projectile-squirt onto his headstone while hailing satan and snorting every fucking drug known to man mixed in with his ashes and screaming at the top of their fucking lungs into the cold, starless night under a blood red moon.
So get wasted, get off, play some fucking music, and rock that shit LOUD because THAT'S the way he would've WANTED it.
\m/ -_______- \m/