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Thread: Do You Have Insecurities? (Self loathing thread)

  1. #11
    YoureAlreadyHere's Avatar
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    I'm with S.D., but I've made most manageable. I stay away from triggers for my own good- if I did some cognitive therapy I supposedly wouldn't have to, but that's just another way of coping- I think it's just too late for all that.

    I do much better with mirrors.

    I'm just trying to be the best me- I take care of myself nutritionally, physically, and mentally (which means staying away from the stressors when possible)^
    I'm still awkward at socializing outside my work (around my daughter's peers' parents)- this is a struggle of mine. & I hope it doesn't affect her future friendships... if she goes to school- I'm increasingly uncomfortable about teens in highschool. Just the other day a kid brought a gun to school here and shot himself during a scheduled fire drill. Yesterday, a school was on lockdown because of a threat. same things a couple days ago. shooting shooting shooting shooting all because of insecurities and social media- is private school any safer? homeschool. Can I afford it, the time? Will I be able to afford it? Will her generation rise above and leave behind the stigma of social media? )

    I smile more, smiles are returned.

    Don't stress about what can't be changed, change what can, and don't over-indulge. Unless it is hugs.
    & at the end of the day I'm teaching my daughter how to live happily & healthy- for now. Hopefully these roots are strong and stabilizing for the brunt of her teenage years.
    --------------------------------

    Don't tell me what to do.

  2. #12

    Join Date: 11.23.17
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    Yes i do, but i don't let that insecurity ruin my life

  3. #13
    You the Chicken Christina's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hugeur View Post
    Yes i do, but i don't let that insecurity ruin my life
    Drugs.

  4. #14
    Queen of Hearts crazybitch's Avatar
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    I wish I could feel more, be more, see more. Know more and feel confident that my reality is good.

  5. #15
    T R A I T O R
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    @Golden Eel, are you actually Lester Burnham?

  6. #16
    Married to Suedehead Shangri-LIE's Avatar
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    My level of tolerance, restraint and commitment to living at least another 20 years or so. Not that I want to destroy everything, everyone or off myself. But ffs I don't want to even begin to question how I've managed to cope with some of the worst types of pain, levels of hell on earth and how much longer I'm going to have to. So, I guess the insecurities below the surface of the ones mentioned are my constant feelings of uncertainty, becoming more and more impatient and my coping mechanisms dwindling more and more each day.
    OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM


  7. #17
    T R A I T O R
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shangri-LIE View Post
    My level of tolerance, restraint and commitment to living at least another 20 years or so. Not that I want to destroy everything, everyone or off myself. But ffs I don't want to even begin to question how I've managed to cope with some of the worst types of pain, levels of hell on earth and how much longer I'm going to have to. So, I guess the insecurities below the surface of the ones mentioned are my constant feelings of uncertainty, becoming more and more impatient and my coping mechanisms dwindling more and more each day.
    Hey look a new post! Anyway, i feel very similar to what you said. At some point life just becomes too much to handle. I don't think our brains were designed to handle these amounts of stress and anxiety on a daily basis. Our society have molded itself into something incredibly shallow and even hollow; we are constantly flooded with self doubt and negative thoughts to the point where we can't even live normal lives because we get so crippled with these insecurities. What i have noticed is all or most of these issues we deal with mentally are all self-conceived, and we subconsciously beat ourselves down to the point where we believe in those self-conceived insecurities. I can try to self-diagnosis and find an excuse or scapegoat and put a name to what's wrong, but it doesn't help. I'm not sure if it's a chemical/ hormonal imbalance, or a psychological disorder, or a poor diet, or not enough exercise, or the way we were raised; but it's definitely out of our control most of the time. Today, for an example, i felt mostly in a good mood, then throughout the day i felt a sense of negativity hover over me like a rain cloud. I then felt like my thoughts just spiraled down a black hole. At that point, i get annoyed by minor things, and use them as an excuse to feel angry or the way i feel. I'm fairly young, yet a lot of the time i feel like i can't go on much longer like this. Passing by days and cycles of depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, no confidence, no desires, no happiness, etc etc. As far as coping mechanisms, eventually you do run dry of what keeps you going, and things get bad from there on. I have noticed i am at a battle with myself. One part of me wants to hug the world and spread love, joy, and peace to every human being because we are all the same, yet so different. The world we live in is beyond amazing. It's a work of art. How far we have come as a species is amazing and impressive. The fact that we are all just a cluster of nerves and cells linked within cells within cells to create what we recognize as consciousness is just astounding to me. YET, the other part of me has a significant disdain for the human species. I want every person, including myself, to be wiped from existence because of what we have done and what we continue to do to each other as a species. My hatred will a lot of the time outweigh my love for everything, and it's exhausting to try and balance it everyday. Emotionally and Physically. Overall, life is difficult because we (as a society) have invented ways to make humans displeased with life. We all spend our money on things that make us "happy", and usually it's things that help us escape reality. Why are humans obsessed with trying to escape reality? Because reality sucks. And it only sucks because it's how we have designed it to be. Kids don't enjoy learning because school makes learning uninteresting. Our goals in life, by the standards of success determined by society, is to go to school, go to college, get a job, work, procreate, die. That's all to life? I disagree. So it's no surprise everyone is unhappy, or displeased with their life. Raised to be stupid, taught to be nothing at all. It's tragic, and we are so far gone by now, nothing could change. We would die out as a species before we learn to live in harmony. I 100% agree with Golden Eel, happiness is an illusion. A number you can not count to. Something to strive for, yet only recognize it as dopamine rushes. Buy shit, feel good. It's all we can do. I say, we are all doomed. Damned to live forever an unhappy life. But... so what? Embrace it. Go full nihilist. Nihilism is the only true happiness. Nihilism Is Modern Idealism. I'd rather not give a shit about anything than to pretend to be happy and give a shit about meaningless things in life.

    Anyway, just wanted to say i feel the same way you do (although i hate when people say they know how i feel, when they don't). I hope you and i and everyone else in this thread/ world to find internal/eternal peace someday. Cheers.
    Last edited by Nemoris Inferioris; 07-07-2020 at 01:05 PM.

  8. #18
    Queen of Hearts crazybitch's Avatar
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    My wish came true. But thanks for nothing. LOL.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazybitch View Post
    My wish came true. But thanks for nothing. LOL.
    Are you still intentionally causing fender benders and throwing milkshakes into peoples cars on The Capital Beltway and America's Main Street?

    OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM


  10. #20
    Athene noctua Xenia's Avatar
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    Of course. Everyone has insecurities. That’s just part of the experience.

    I talk with people every day who loathe themselves, their lives and their experiences. And something I have become convinced about is that there is another Pandemic, one much more covert than Covid-19. It is the sickness of feeling "not enough”.

    I feel that the problem resides in the concept that children are born to be gods… and this “world” thrashes the prospective divinity right out of them.
    The first five years of a child’s life are the most formative years of life span development. From birth to age five, we grow, learn, and develop faster than any other time in life. This is where family has the most impact, before we branch out into school and peer relationships. Parents and caregivers at this stage play a large part in the development of “self”. A child, who is told they are smart, will adopt this characteristic into their self-identity. If they are told they are smart, repeatedly, they begin to believe it. In contrast, a child who is persistently told they are not smart will develop the self-image of not being smart. This is the beginning of the labels being bestowed upon them.

    Our brains believe what we tell them. Repeatedly. It’s a convoluted orchestra of informal brain washing. “Train a child up in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” So, our first attempt at figuring out who we are is largely based on how our first authority figures view us and what they teach us about ourselves.

    And most people’s parents try to instill in their children a sense of values, morals, and a fundamental “map” to get through life, based on their own informal brainwashing. In the US, it’s based on Christian philosophy. This dysfunction is handed down generation to generation, akin to a familial genetic illness. Corporal punishment and praise, positive and negative reinforcement, and shame and guilt are tactics used in this phase of the training, to fortify a child in meeting expectations.

    Then comes the school years. It continues from there with teachers and peers. And at this point we already have some concept of strengths and vulnerabilities and the lens through which he view the world and self has already been colored by our continually developing perception of who we are. And what you believe, you will go out into the world and find whether it is true or not. Because you believe it, you will subconsciously look for verification and reinforcement.

    Now take into account, the demands, rules, written and unspoken, which are heaped upon us all socially. Conformity. Conform or be out-casted, exiled and put to death. Follow the rules, stay in line, stay small, keep your head down and don’t do anything stupid. If you do step out of line, it only verifies that you are not enough.

    Now take into account the pressure and expectations placed on children by the media and television. Countless ads and t.v. shows reinforcing unrealistic expectations. Whatever is nearly unachievable is the “ideal”. The glamorous girl on the cover of the magazine is a size 0. She starves herself and makes herself vomit every meal. Or the photos have been chopped and shopped or she has spent a fortune on plastic surgery. But, she is the ideal of beauty that is fed to children. Did you know the average size of females in the US is a size 16?

    And look at this guy in this commercial, he’s wearing this new cologne and the girl is all over him.

    Oh, and here’s the new Tide. The old Tide you are using is not good enough. There is a new and improved Tide, and it will get your clothes cleaner, fresher smelling and even brighten them.

    As my dear ole dad used to say, “It’s just another way to get our money, sis.” All of it, all of our money. Work, shop, spend, repeat and rinse. The hedonistic treadmill to nowhere but empty.

    By the time we hit early adulthood, we are well trained for moving into the workforce in pursuit of a career. Gotta’ make money, can’t live in this world without it. Getting married, having children, shopping, paying taxes and being good law-abiding productive citizens. Ah, the American Dream. George Carlin said, “That’s why they call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.”

    But, everyone reaches a point in life when you realize it. When you wake up and understand that it’s all an illusion. All of these labels, expectations, all of the rules and unspoken laws. They’re all just bullshit. They’re nothing but someone else’s idea. Someone else’s idea of who you are and what you should be, “Fit into this box, this is your goal.” FUCK THAT! None of that stuff is real. It’s all merely thoughts. EVERY SINGLE THING IN EXISTENCE BEGAN AS A THOUGHT. That is the power of thought.

    So make your thoughts work for you. Your brain believes what you tell it. Repeatedly. So, stop telling yourself that you aren’t enough of this or that. Tell yourself instead that you are enough. You are. We all are.

    Stop staying small, don’t keep your head down and stop labeling and judging yourselves by someone else’s standards. Believe in yourself, see your beauty, accept yourself and learn to love yourself unconditionally. No-one tells you, but this is the love of your life. If you could choose that, would you? Then choose it.

    This is where the real work begins. And I am not saying that we shouldn’t try to change and improve what we can, especially if it’s beneficial for our well-being. But, I think it’s also important to accept what you can’t change and knowing the difference between the two. With that comes serenity. And that’s not just my opinion.

    I spent much of my early life emotionally crippled with all the insecurities and vulnerabilities I had developed. But, I chose to no longer live that way. It takes a lot of time and effort and it is not painless or easy. But, it is possible to turn these things into strengths and resilience. It’s a work in progress. It’s my life’s work.

    And life is not easy. It certainly isn’t today, it’s so uncertain in these trying times. And even in easier times, happiness or any one emotion is not a persistent state of being. Life is full of experiences that evoke every emotion. Just think, if we didn’t know sadness, how would we ever recognize happiness? “Without the darkness, the stars wouldn’t seem as bright”.

    Everyone struggles, everyone faces insecurities and vulnerability. But, hey…we’re all just here for the operation.
    Last edited by Xenia; 07-25-2020 at 06:27 PM. Reason: grammatical err
    The best time for
    new beginnings
    is NOW.

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