Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst 1234
Results 31 to 34 of 34

Thread: Do You Have Insecurities? (Self loathing thread)

  1. #31
    Married to Suedehead Shangri-LIE's Avatar
    Join Date: 08.05.09
    Location: Subject
    Posts: 7,922
    Rank: Stigmartyr

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Xenia View Post
    Entertaining read. Lol I always enjoy your posts. But, whether you realize it or not, you've done exactly what you are claiming you haven't and at the same time discouraging others in doing. You've found ways to improve, to cope, to better your situation. Just "being", that Mindfulness you spoke about earlier, and surrendering. Not acting is an action...and one form of coping. That's behavior modification, too...? And those are actually very effective. So, good for you, Shangs!
    Thx and Yw 。◕‿◕。

    OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM


  2. #32
    Lunatic/Mystic's Avatar
    Join Date: 07.27.17
    Location: Half-Unripe Apple
    Posts: 18
    Rank: Brilliant Slut

    Default

    This thread reminds me about a YouTube comment on "The Nobodies":
    "My daughter wants this played at her Funeral ☹️ Why doesn't she understand she is Somebody, and she's beautiful ��!!!"
    To which I replied:
    "It sounds like your daughter is going through some hard times - just as I did a couple of years ago. My mom kept telling me that I'm a beautiful and wonderful Somebody, but I didn't believe her. I COULDN'T believe her. I was 'so tangled in my sins,' in my sense of guilt and good-for-nothingness, that I could not escape my self-hate. Eventually, however, I discovered that my self-hate sprang from my SELF-FEAR. I was terrified of my truest self and my deepest desires (mainly because they were so real and timeless and intense) - so I repressed them, and then hated myself both for having those desires and for failing to express and satisfy them. But later, as I uncovered more and more of the truth (with the help of Mr. Manson's art, of course), I realized that my desires COULD be expressed and satisfied, and that I COULD let myself live as my truest self, and that I didn't have to be afraid of anything I found in the abyss of my soul because it was MY abyss, and all it really wanted to do was give birth to my mountains, my greatest highs. 'Out of the deepest must the highest come to its height,' as Nietzsche wrote. One must hate and suffer deeply before one can know the greatest love and delight. That's what I've learned, anyway. If your daughter feels what I used to feel, maybe this comment will help her somehow. At any rate, please let her know that you love and accept her just the way she is, with all her trouble and pain."

    I've never gotten a reply to this, so I don't know if my comment was helpful. But I feel like my story is worth sharing here. For several years, self-hate and insecurity plagued me on a daily basis. The only reason I didn't kill myself was that I hated myself too much to free myself from my self-conceived hell. And now? I feel like I live in heaven. I feel perfect, PERFEKT in all my imperfection, complete in my endless self-completion. I still have moments of self-doubt, of course, but it's nothing like it used to be. I have undergone some incredible spiritual transformation. A part of my consciousness is continuously connected to an invariable, unwavering infinity of bliss. It's like I've attained nirvana, and I've never even been a Buddhist! Nor have I practiced meditation and mindfulness. All I did was surrender to my deepest desires. It seems so simple... And yet it wasn't. Before I could surrender, about half of my soul had to be destroyed. All those false desires I had built to bury my true desires... all those mausoleums, they had to be burned in flames of anguish, and then the fire had to be extinguished with tears. But this only confirms the wisdom of my favorite quote from Nietzsche - "Out of the deepest must the highest come to its height" - because now, I swear, I feel on top of the world. So much so that I sometimes feel impelled to listen to "Top of the World" by the Carpenters.

    There's one entry in my journal that sums up pretty well what I've learned about desire and insecurity: "We get scared when we're not expressing our passions freely. An excess of them accumulates inside us and thus overwhelms us until we feel insecure - and then we get scared of ourselves and our passions and the damage that they can do. But it's the suppressed excess that gets us scared, and not the passions themselves. When we express them freely - when we just let them run riot around the world - we are fearless."

    I hope that you can get something for yourself out of my story.
    Fated, Faithful... and Floating.

  3. #33
    Raspberry Syncope FeedYourHead's Avatar
    Join Date: 07.06.09
    Location: New York, NY
    Posts: 2,088
    Rank: 15 Gauge

    Default

    The one thing plastic surgery canít fix. My oversized teeth and gums.

  4. #34
    Married to Suedehead Shangri-LIE's Avatar
    Join Date: 08.05.09
    Location: Subject
    Posts: 7,922
    Rank: Stigmartyr

    Default

    ---
    Last edited by Shangri-LIE; 08-09-2020 at 06:30 PM.
    OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •