Marilyn Manson Journal ArchiveMarilyn Manson Journal Archive

Marilyn Manson Journal ArchiveMarilyn Manson Journal Archive

ENTRIES 125 - 129

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From plasticworld on 02/25/03:

Yeterday I did something that is going to change my life completely, my problem though is that I don't know if it was the right thing to do. How do you ever know which is the way to go.. at the time you have to decide, and even afterwards how do know for sure it was the right thing? How do you keep from ending something you have a chance at(life) in fear of doing the wrong thing? I hope I can get your advice on this, nobody else seems to give a shit. Thank you for keeping me alive thus far with a hope of a better tomarrow, I love you.. and always will. If this is read thank you so much!

Answered by MM on 02/25/03:

I can't really answer this without knowing more. All I can say is that you are ALWAYS responsible for your own actions, so choose them wisely.

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From surj33t on 02/25/03:

In your question response to 'deathskiss' on 02/24/03, what do you mean by, "We have wiped the slate clean"? I understand you are approaching the world with a new style, and you have every right to do so, but will your past, beloved style just disintegrate within this new one or will the erasers just have a new color on them? Or maybe this is just a bad question (which, reading back to myself, i think it might be). -surjeet

Answered by MM on 02/25/03:

Of course not. However, the same emotions and ideas can be translated in a a different language of performance. Everything you thought has been done is about to change.

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From luridesign on 02/25/03:

my friend Libby died just recently. she was 16. as a fan of yours, she saw art as filtered through the truth you represented to her and the lies others wrapped arond her to blind her to what she truly wanted to see. they blindfolded her and cut her off from the world. her response was to cut her "scar stacked upon scarred flesh and cut out the tumor plaguing the shell I am becoming." she sent a letter to me the day she did it, knowing that I would not get it for days. she asked me to relay to you that she was grateful for your honesty. she wrote: "both you and he tried to cut through my shell of fear with his honesty and your graceful acceptance. only, I failed you. i want everyone to know that MM isn't responsible for what I am doing. I want them to know that I was suffocated by isolation and smothered by pitiful normalcy. the freaks don't come out at night. they drop the kids of at soccer and and plan mergers. thank him for me." She was a dear person who eventually lost hope. I gave her your cd's 3 years ago. she cried and called me to say one phrase "he knows." I loved her like rain and fog. I just want to say to others losing hope out there that all you can do is know yourself. Rage against the rest and find your own tongue. many times I wanted to give up and they tried to stuff me with fake beliefs and rancid ideas...only now can I say I am finding myselfand not just reacting to their jealous pitifulness. They may see the individuality in you and try to stop it. the only way you can keep it is to find it first and hold on, wherever it takes you. Sorry I am rambling I just needed to tell this. Libby lives on in every isolated child that finally finds freedom through LIVING. thank you for sharing with me and her your vision. and she hoped that you would think of kids like her and rage on FOR them. thanx.

Answered by MM on 02/25/03:

That really tears me up. I'm sorry for your loss, but now I feel it is OUR loss. May Libby find happiness somewhere beyond this world...She sounded so special and I understand that's why she was in so much pain. I want people to realize that feeling of hopeless are the first signs of hope, really. This is not the world we want to live in. There is one in our mind...but it is never too late to make that a reality. R.I.P. Libby It's raining here. Someone is listening and crying. I'm truly there with you.

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From sCARREdnOBODy on 02/24/03:

Mr. Manson, I've sent you two messages before this and neither have been responded. I'm not angry, i know how many you get, but i would like to point out that even without you replying this is a good place and scenario to express myself (and ask you questions). I'm on the verge of ending my suffering with a knife but i know that there is something that is worth fighting for, i just am not in the mindset to think of it. The strange thing is that my life seems to be great aside from the fact that im "clinically depressed" even though i think that that's just how i am and the only reason that people are realising it is because recently i've been making my own choices about school and extra curricular activities. My dad (who i wish was dead) had chosen what i do throughout my life, he had me doing boy scouts and any other type of activity that includes learning about morals and how to be a good person. Theres much more than that but i think this is enough for you to have a generalized idea. If you get this message please reply with how you've kept yourself from ending it all throughout your life.

Answered by MM on 02/25/03:

Everyone told me that I'd be shit and people still tell me I am shit. You know you are not. Even though people's words can beat you down, the fact you have the balls to say this to me and evryone here, proves that you KNOW you will get above this. Anyone with any sense of personality or intelligence is "depressed." The happy people are living a lie. You can find happiness, though, if you redifine it on your own terms. You SHOULD make your own choices. Don't hate your dad, I did once...realize he is probably in more pain than you, if he cares. He's too proud to show it. Be the strong one and rise above. The world needs people who can think for themselves.

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From wejebored on 02/24/03:

do you ever leave your part of LA? Do you ever go into suburbs for any reason? i think theres some things in East La (yes...where the gangs are) that you would find interesting, if degenerate art is what your into. Being Chicano and growing up there, Ive noticed many gangsters who are quick on the trigger, like to wear religious icons on their shirts, and rosary's on their necks. They also decorate the neighborhood with "tagging". Artwork with the same purpose of dog piss; territorial. You should have a "cholo" (mexican gangster) show you his lowrider. Chances are it has some oxymoronic picture of a brave aztec warrior, or jesus, or the virgin mary... drawn with the same hands (fists) that were used to beat the shit out of the other "cholos". The whole idea is degenerate art in my eyes. Would you have any cusiosity in seeing it? Hey, if not you can always score some good mexican food...you like mexican food?

Answered by MM on 02/25/03:

Very interesting. I'd like to hear more. (Including your other 'heads up').